WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?

Sometimes when I write, it’s a byproduct of being inspired, wanting to get clarity on a topic, or exploring my own theory in a specific area. With that said, I’m about to embark on a voyage that deals with an enigma similar to the Bermuda Triangle, the Egyptian Pyramids, Stonehenge, and figuring out what the hell happened to Richard Simmons.

This topic has been a mystery that man has tried to understand since the beginning of time: 

What Do Women Want?

No man is as fortunate as Mel Gibson’s character in the 2000 film What Women Want– by being able to hear the inner most thoughts of women…and dogs, “Monsieur, Monsieur, I need to poop!” Without this mind reading ability, men are tasked to know their woman’s needs and deliver on their desires. 

The only advice my dad gave me on the topic of women was, “Find a girl who can afford you. It’s a lot easier to fall in love on the beaches of Hawaii.” He obviously was joking…or was he? Then in his Ph.D. wisdom, J. Hen would follow that with his real offering, “Find a girl who is smart.” 

My response to him now is, “Ok dad, I’ve done that; so now what?” The most attractive quality that drew me to Kendra was her brain (oh and she’s 5’9, gorgeous, has a funny wit, is an amazing cook, and loves football…winning!)

She is definitely out of my league. (shout out to B. Hop!)

Aside from finding my soul mate, I’ve been blessed with amazing mentors in my life who have modeled the proper way to treat women and how to have a flourishing marriage. Young people do what you do, not what you say. I’m thinking about my son Baylor, and my goal is to model to him that the only way to have an effective relationship is to serve your partner. 

Let me premise that I am not perfect in this area, but like most males, I’m a work in progress. I’ve been labeled by a few people as selfish, “the King,” and being all about me. My job requires me to travel quite a bit; I’m very active juggling multiple passions outside of work (can you say Rise?); I don’t have many man skills (thank God for our neighbor Jeff); so sue me, I married Wonder Woman. Kendra seems to have super powers in many areas – her weapon of choice is either the power drill or her trusty breast pump – depends on the day. 

This is how I see my bride.

What’s awesome is that people are entitled to their opinion. They don’t have to agree 100% on my (or your) relationship dynamics. The most important factor is that you and your partner communicate frequently and have established clear expectations – and you both deliver on those. I feel that this is were Kendra and I have excelled – communicating on what our needs are and doing our best to make those happen. 

Things are not always going to work out perfectly or as planned. Being able to say “I’m sorry,” owning your mistakes, and sincerely make the necessary adjustments to correct the behavior or issue is what effective teamwork is all about.  I think I’m winning on the “sorry” scoreboard.  Wow, grace is powerful in a team setting. 

As with any team in sports, business, or life, it’s all about playing to your strengths. I feel we do a great job at this. For example, when we got married, Kendra assembled our new barbecue, while I wrote our thank you letters for all of our wedding gifts. 6+3=9. So does 7+2, 5+4, and so on. There’s not one way to have an effective marriage. Know and playoff each other’s strengths. Your production and happiness will be elevated.  

A few years ago, we read the book The Five Love Languages (which I totally recommend) and we do our best to make sure those needs are met consistently. My top two are: 1) physical touch, and 2) acts of service. While Kendra’s are 1) quality time, and 2) Starbucks or Chipotle (really, the author added those in the latest addition). 

Aside from mastering each other’s love languages, another tool to use is the framework I call A.L.A.: ask, listen, and act on what what makes your significant other happy. Why does it need to be more complicated then that? 

Step 1: Communicate and ASK what makes her happy and how you can help. The first response might not tell the whole story. Be ready to dig deep and peel back the onion (women have layers…just like ogres, ogres have layers too…pardon my Shrek reference). The more details and specifics you can obtain the better.

Step 2: This might be a new concept for some of you guys out there (after 6 years of marriage I’m still working on it), but truly LISTEN to what she is saying. Seek to understand. Don’t just nod your head and envision what meat you’re going to BBQ next. Make a mental note, store it, then proceed to Step 3. 

Step 3: Based on her needs, take ACTION. This could be the most important step. Why? Because taking action takes effort. But not just mindless effort (how many times have you half-assed made the bed or picked up after yourself). Intentional action that follows a strategy is where magic happens. Effectiveness is all about execution. If you execute on her needs, I can give you 50 reasons how this will benefit her and YOU (trust me, there will be no shades of gray). 

Do this ALA process:

0 times per year = F results. 

1 time per year =  D results. 

1 time per quarter =  C results. 

1 time per month = B results

1 time per week = A results

1 time per day = A+++ results 

The reason why a high number of relationships get stale and fail is because there is no energy and effort. Imagine if you put the same type of energy, passion, and attention to each other as you did in the beginning of the relationship! Love doesn’t sit on its ass and binge on Netflix all day (unless it’s New Girl – watched together of course). Love is a Verb…just ask John Mayer. Love Does…just ask Bob Goff. 

Average in = average out. Awesome in = awesome out. What’s more important then you and your partner’s relationship? Besides putting The Man Upstairs at the center of our life and marriage, Kendra and my relationship is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE! 

We feel the best gift we can give to our children is putting our marriage first, and them second. Many couples married with children have it backwards…and their marriage takes a back seat. Hmm, I wonder why divorce rates are so high for new empty nesters?

Below are what I call Kendra’s Keys. If I can deliver on these, I’m winning, she’s winning, our marriage, and family are winning. 

1. C.S.S. – Certainty, Security, and Safety

Similar to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, I’ve learned that everything starts here. 

Certainty: Being the man of the house, I feel a sense of responsibility to operate and function in a consistent manner, provide stability, and create vision for our family. 

Security: It’s my duty to provide for us through generating short and long term financial security. 

Safety: A must is to make Kendra feel that she and our children are safe. This dictates the car we drive, how we handle certain public situations, and the fact that I make sure the doors are locked each night before we go to bed (this took me a few years to embed in my psyche). 

2. Be Present

Being a Zombie is not a good look. Zombies don’t make good husbands or fathers. Amber Alert: PUT THE CELL PHONE AWAY. I try to institute the 6 to 9 rule – my phone stays in my room plugged in from 6 to 9pm when I get home from work. Don’t be a Cell Phone Zombie, put the cell phone away (this is one area I need A LOT of work on). While your phone is charging locked up in a safe, play the Rose/Thorn game. Each of you share something that you loved about the day (rose) and something that could have been better (thorn). This is an easy, simple, and effective way to communicate and have a little bonding time. 

3. Deliver On Her Love Languages 

We are very intentional to carve out time and connect during that sweet spot when the kids go down to bed and before we go to bed. This is always much valued QT. Also, I make it a point to bring her Starbucks, flowers, or her favorite…Chewy Sprees candy when I can. About 75% of the time when I come home from the gym, I come packing heat – a toasted Chonga bagel with an iced coffee.  This always is a crowd pleaser.  

4. Connect Emotionally and Physically

Most women are crock pots, not microwaves…this includes Kendra. If I want a connection downstairs, I better connect upstairs first (Hint: this doesn’t start at 9pm, but 9am). Compliments are free. Acts of service are free, but the payoffs are priceless. Also, every physical touch doesn’t need to lead to something else. Put some money in the bank, rub her feet and expect nothing to happen. You will earn some bonus points, which you can cash in later – Yahtzee!

5. Love Our Children

Serving our children is serving Kendra. Being the best daddy is deeply appreciated and sexy as hell…ask any woman. When I get home, I love to give Kendra a break from Earth, Wind, and Fire (Baylor, Bella, and Winnie) with some dada time. They love it. I love it. And after being a physical and emotional punching bag for the previous 10 hours, Kendra loves it the most. 

6. When I’m Fulfilled, She’s Fulfilled

I need to make sure that I’m doing the things that fill me up – exercising, doing my best at work, following my passions. Kendra is so amazing, that she understands the importance of allowing me to be who I am. When that process takes place I have more to give and everyone wins.

7. Date Consistently 

Make the words “Date Night” a staple in your relationship’s vocabulary. Don’t let your love fern die…water it, nurture it, and give it light…by regularly scheduling a night out on the town WITHOUT YOUR KIDS! Do I even need to justify why this is important? 

For some low cost date night ideas…click here

I am fully aware that this list is not the end all be all. If you have your own way of investing in your marriage that works, then great! The most important key to this whole What Women Want thing is to DECIDE and COMMIT 100% to your relationship. Love is a choice that needs ACTIONS to fan the flame…not with intentions or “should do’s.”  When I take care of Kendra’s needs…she more then takes care of me!  The Bible says you reap what you sow…this is so true in relationships. Take care of your woman where she needs it the most, and you will be the wealthiest man on the planet in the area that matters most – LOVE. 

Since there are 7 Keys to my list above, take the Kendra’s Keys Challenge. Discuss and implement one of the 7 keys each day of the week with your spouse…start today! 

For all my fellas out there, I hope Kendra’s Keys help you unlock your inner Prince Charming. Who knows, you just might awaken your Sleeping Beauty and discover not just what WOMEN want, but what YOUR WOMAN WANTS. 

And if you execute on this quest, you’ll create a happy ending in more ways then one.

HOW MOANA MADE ME CRY

Over the past month I’ve watched the Disney movie Moana at least 5 times. If you have younger children like we do, you most likely have seen it and can probably recite the songs in the film like a JT record.

All Baylor and Bella want to do is watch the “Big Guy”…Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson’s character, Maui…which he crushes btw…and the brave heroine, Moana.

She’s next level.

Even our one year old Winnie is getting into the action. I got home the other day from a work trip, and all she could say to me was, “Muah, Muah.” I was like, “Kendra, what is she saying?” She replied, “Moana!”

Huh, should have known. Gotta love baby gibberish.

There’s a reason Disney owns everything from the Marvel Universe to ESPN. They are frickin’ smart and have mastered the art of storytelling. They have gotten so good over the years, and the plots have even struck cords with adults as much as kids.

Disney has a proven plot system. Here’s my breakdown:

1. Scene and characters are established (old normal)

2. A challenge arises

3. A nurturing character close to the protagonist dies or is faced with a dangerous threat

4. The naive hero (protagonist) goes on a journey

5. The protagonist is mentored

6. The protagonist fails and contemplates quitting

7. The protagonist faces his/her fear and transforms into a real hero

8. With a new found courage and skill, the protagonist saves the day.

9. A new normal and happy world is created

Disney’s Empire is endless.

I’ve loved many Disney films, but this Moana story stirred my spirit and emotions more than any drama or action film of recent memory (nothing creates water works like Cuba Gooding, Jr’s movie Radio though). The symbolisms in Moana, her journey, failure, triumph, and message of redemption are timeless. There’s a plot twist in the end and a climactic scene that had me balling my eyes out…I mean grown man ugly cry. I had to hide my face so my kids didn’t think something was wrong with me.

There were many takeaways from this gem that made me laugh, think, and cry. Below are elements of the movie that paralleled with real life – and even had a biblical influence. Take a look at this list and reflect how it relates to your life.

Under qualified

The chosen one, Moana, lacked experience, was under qualified, was too young, and an unlikely choice to save her people.

How many characters in the Bible were an unlikely choice from God? Moses stuttered. David was an adulterer. Paul killed Christians.

You might think you are under qualified, but trust that no one is ever 100% ready and are completely qualified. Know that you are chosen. You are worthy. There is no such thing as perfect. It’s about the journey and growth along the way. Stop thinking that you don’t have what it takes. The people who shaped the world where flawed just like you and me. The only difference is they took action! It’s time for you to stop thinking you don’t have what it takes, because you do!  Take ACTION!

Courage

Despite going against her father’s will, Moana left her island and faced many dangerous situations to save her people.

David faced Goliath. Noah survived the storm. Daniel was saved from the lion’s den.

You will never reach your potential or achieve anything of significance unless you face your fear. Warriors feel the fear, but go to battle anyway. This is where growth happens. What fear have you been avoiding that you need to attack?

Mentorship

Moana knew very little about sailing or the world beyond her island. However, she had a connection with the ocean and the dream of exploring. This dream was encouraged and nurtured by her grandmother. While on her journey, Moana, who was a novice sailor, learned to be a master of the seas. She learned this skill from the other main character in the film, Maui. Because of Moana and Maui’s teamwork, they saved the day. This feet would not have been possible without each other. Maui learned a great deal from his mentee, Moana, as well (humility, courage, resourcefulness).

Mentorship has been a critical part of achieving greatest throughout history. Moses mentored Aaron. Eli mentored Samuel. Jesus mentored his disciples.

What is your dream? Who can you seek out to help you achieve it? You are not alone. We all can benefit from having at least one source that is full of encouragement and knowledge. Focus on learning from those people instead of the naysayers, critics, and doubters – which, if you are seeking to do something great – you will have plenty of those types of people.

Think of one person who believes in you. Channel their energy and encouragement. Also, who has what you want? Ask them to be your mentor. This relationship will be life changing.

You should always have a mentor and a mentee.

“This does not define you” 

Moana and Maui had several major setbacks and failures throughout the process. Both even felt so defeated that they lost hope and even quit. Yet, something inside of their spirit lifted them out of a state of despair to keep fighting and fulfill their destiny.

God never makes it easy. Whether the Jews exodus from Egypt, to Abraham and Sarah waiting until late in life to have children, and even Jesus’s death and resurrection (there are many more examples)…the people who fall and get back up and face the fire are rewarded.

The most powerful scene in the film felt like a scene straight from the Bible. There is a clever twist at the end when Moana reaches the end of her journey to restore the heart of Te Fiti. While facing the lava monster (that’s what my kids call it), Moana realizes that the monster is not really evil.

The ocean parts, she calls to her, and sings a message that has so much biblical relevance that it had me balling. I saw God in the form of a 16 year old girl speaking to me, people who are lost, hurt, afraid, living in guilt and shame, and who have lost sight of their true self. This is what she sang:

I have crossed the horizon to find you

I know your name

They have stolen the heart from inside you

But this does not define you

This is not who you are

You know who you are
…who you truly are.

God has been on an endless search to reach you.

He loves you, and knows you by name.

He may have challenged you with hardships that have broken you.

You may have lost your way and have been on a path of self destruction.

BUT THIS DOES NOT DEFINE YOU.

God adores you and sees the hero inside of you.

He knows who you are. You know who you are. Let that person come back to life and grow to something even greater.

This song could also be sung from a parent to a child; a child to a parent; a friend to a friend; or you to yourself.

Sheesh, I’m tearing up right now just as I write this. Please watch the scene below and reflect on your life. Forgive yourself and start living in color, not darkness. If you are in a healthy place, how can you be a light for others?

In summary:

• Even though you are under qualified, you are ready.

• Nothing of significance happens without courage.

• You are not alone. Seek out mentors, while you mentor others.

• Your failure does not define you. How you respond does.

• In order to be great, you must love yourself first.

Forgive yourself.  Mend a relationship.  Forgive someone else.

Begin a new adventure.

Start an adventurous journey today and become your best self…just like Moana.

THE 8 M’S OF MAKING MONEY

Alright.  I told you people that I was going to get crazy with this whole studying of selling shit (I tried a few other words, but they just didn’t have the same ring to it).  Based on your feedback from my last post (a big THANKS to all of you who sent in your favorite selling books), the top requested sales book was The Little Red Book of Selling, by Jeffrey Gitomer.  I read it, really liked it, and have already used some of the tactics I learned – like focusing on profit over price with a customer.

Many of you may be into self-help, motivational books, and auto-biographies (those are my favorites).  However, this is selling season – time for expensive things for no reason (ha shout out to my boy Hova).  We all are selling ourselves, we are always interviewing whether we know it or not, and our ability to influence dictates many things in our life…including how much money we make.

Let me preface that life isn’t all about things, new whips (not 50 Shades, but “cars” for you laymans), baller cribs, or how many digits are in your bank account.  Connection, impact, relationships, memories, and how many people we help is the essence of life.  However, what if you can positively impact all those areas, but make lots of money while doing it?  To me, more money doesn’t mean ‘mo problems (we miss you Big!), but that I get to help more people.  I get to bless more in need.  I am able to create more freedom for myself and my family.

Utilize this list and make it rain with Lil’ Wayne and this guy

So here is how you do it.  I call this the 8 M’s of Making Money.  This system was largely inspired by 3 books I read by Grant Cardone, sprinkled with my other readings, and life experiences.  This is less about investing and more about a framework to take your passion to the next level.  For wealth management and investing tips, read Money: Master the Game, by Tony Robbins.  It’s a game changer (one word: FIDUCIARY).  He also has a new money book out as well called Unshakable.  HINT: the bubble is about to burst; he’ll help you be ready.  Enough about Tony and his big hands and wallet. 

These money making concepts can by applied to two groups: 

1. If you are a sales representative who is looking to take your sales results to the next level, or
2. If you are an entrepreneur that could benefit from added clarity by utilizing a systematic approach to growing your business.

So here goes; here are the 8 M’s of Making Money (I picked the number 8 because its the same symbol as infinity…just like the never ending streams of income that is on your horizon if you follow this framework).  

If you are serious about improving your sales or taking your business to the next level, stop what you are doing, and take out a notebook or a few sheets of paper right now.  

Based off of each section, I have listed several questions that you need to answer…if you do and execute on those questions…there is no doubt you will create more wealth for yourself. 

I’m going to warn you though…this is a ROBUST post…but WELL WORTH IT!  Pace yourself, but stick to it and finish it all the way through and you’ll be well on your way to MAKING IT RAIN…

Since I will never make it rain in the club, I’m thinking of other venues that are under utilized to throwing up Benji’s or maybe Hamilton’s are your thing: at the gym, the grocery store, nail salon, getting take-out teriyaki, the movie theater…the options are endless!

1. MINDSET

This is a slam dunk, no brainer.  In order to dominate your sector, you MUST have an insane amount of belief in yourself and your product/service.  You can’t fake passion, enthusiasm, and an all-in attitude.  Prospecting, handling objections, and closing become a whole lot easier when you have a winning attitude and unwavering belief in yourself and what you’re selling.  You must DECIDE, that you will do whatever it takes to make the sale, and that you have the ability to do it. Prospects can smell what I call CP’s: confidence pheromones.  Like bees, customers can smell fear and BS.  If you are timid and unsure…say this with me in a Brooklyn accent, “Forget about it!”  If your hair isn’t on fire in excitement for what you are selling…why should theirs be on fire to buy?  

Pit Bull, Walt Disney, Gary Vaynerchuk, Bill Gates, Tony Robbins, and Richard Branson all had an insane amount of self-belief in themselves and what they offer, which helped them overcome setbacks and create a road map to achieve their dreams. 

8M Questions to consider:

• Do you use or would you use your product/service if the situation called for it?  What about your loved ones?  If the answer is no…find something new to sell.
• Do you believe in your abilities to effectively sell this product?  If not, get some coaching, do some more studying, and practice your craft.
• Do you love this industry, customer base, and process of the selling.  If you don’t love it – get out and align yourself with something you believe in!

Project Rise Application:

I believe without a shadow of a doubt that what I’m doing with Project Rise is bringing value to others.  I am so convinced and believe so strongly in the principles I teach, because I have seen them work in my life.  I receive an abundance of energy and fulfillment when I help others be their best self. 

2. MISSION

In any military mission, there is something called: Commander’s Intent.  Commanders Intent succinctly describes what constitutes success for the operation.  It includes the operation’s purpose and the conditions that define the end state.  When things get crazy (oh and they will), having a clear goal and vision (or Commanders Intent) will keep you on track.  Partnered with Commanders Intent, is this one question, “What are you willing to sacrifice?”  This boils down to your values.  This set of values will help you make the tough decisions.

8M Questions to consider:

• Clearly and succinctly define what you want to achieve (Your Commanders Intent).
• What does success look like to you?  Think about starting with the end in mind first.
• What is your offering?  Do your customers 100% understand what you offer and the value associated with the product or service?
• What is your story?  Story telling is the most effective way to grow support, investors, and buyers.  If done effectively, story telling creates emotion and feelings.  The wealthiest are the best storytellers. 
• Make a list of your core values that will drive your actions (what to say “yes” or “no” to) and will help you determine what to fight for.

Project Rise Application:

Success for me would look like this:

• Be able to monetize Project Rise as our sole source of income
• Witness positive transformation and improved results in individuals and teams from directly working with me
• Be a best-selling author
• Be a sought after speaker on mental performance
• Positively impact in some way 20 million people by 2020 (go ahead and laugh at me…I don’t care!)
• My values are B.U.I.L.D.: Believe. Unselfish. Integrity. Learn. Discipline.

3. MOTIVATION

Motives matter.  Having a clear “Why” and reasons for achieving your vision is everything – not only for you (internal motivation), but your customer as well (external motivation).  If money is your only internal motivator, you will not sustain the drive necessary to keep going.  Also, if your motivation is not powerful enough, you will have a hard time overcoming hardships and setbacks.  

In terms of external motivation, ask Simon Sinek…people buy WHY you do what you do, not what or how you do it.  If people external from you and your organization do not connect with your “why,” they won’t buy what you are selling.

I often use the TOMS shoe company as an example here.  Their “one for one” motto has helped them impact thousands of lives by providing free shoes to kids in need.  This “why” has also helped them sell millions of shoes – which is a double win!

8M Questions to consider:

• Why are you doing this?
• Can you list the reason(s) behind your mission?
• What is your “Why” story?…write it down and practice saying it.
• Can you clearly articulate what motivates you to potential customers and investors?

Project Rise Application:

My reasons behind Project Rise are… 

• I struggled with insecurities and negative self talk for most of my life, which held me back from being my best self.
• Through my decent and RISE, I want to help others RISE with me.  I desire to be a lifelong student of mastering one’s mindset.
• Finally, I will generate enough income to support my family comfortably, which will allow Kendra to focus 100% on being a mom and CEO of the house.

4. MEANS

Identifying WHO has the means to make the decision and purchase your product is as D. Trump would say, “HUUUUUUGE.”  The more niche you can be the better.  Remember this saying, “Scratch an itch. Find a niche, and you’ll be rich.” (you can add “bitch” in there at the end to get a laugh)

8M Questions to consider:

• Who is your target audience?  
• Who has the means to buy what you are selling?
• Who are the decision makers?
• How can you get in front of them more?
• WHO HAS YOUR MONEY?

There’s money out there waiting to be used on what you have to offer.  You just need to identify with crystal clarity who that group and specific set of people are (or person).

Project Rise Application:

My customer base includes:

• Businesses looking to improve mindset, sales, and culture
  • Mangers, VP, and directors of sales have the money
• Athletes and athletic teams 
  • Parents have the money
  • AD’s, coaches, and booster clubs have the money
• Scholastic settings (schools and universities)
  • Principles, department heads, and district office folks have the money
  • Clubs, groups, and associations have the money (especially for conferences)

The next step would be to get them on board with the value and benefits of your offering…not price.  Objections are never on the price, but the perceived lack of value…we’ll get to more on that in METHODS.

5. MATH

Have you ran the numbers?  Generating the wealth you need is a simple equation that can be preemptively set up.  Based on your mission and goals, look at these questions…

8M Questions to consider: 

• How much money do you WANT to make each month and year?
• How much do you NEED to bring in to keep the lights on, cover expenses, and support yourself, family, and staff (if you have any)?
• Based on this, how many sales do you need to make?  For example, If I want to make $100,000 in six months, I’d need to sell $100 worth of product to 1,000 people…or $50 to 2,000 people…or $200 to 500 people.  This approach simplifies and makes the process less overwhelming and gives you a measurable goal that you can track.  
• How much money will you need to invest in the growth of your company to get started or to take it to the next level (new website, consulting, expanding, advertising, more sales, etc.)?

Project Rise Application:

I’m currently working on this as we speak.  I recently took some money out of savings to invest in:

• Costs to launch my brand and updated offerings on a higher level – including a new website and video content
• I recently finished the content of my first book (can’t wait to tell you more about it!), and I’ve budgeted funds to support it’s completion and launch
• I have a specific number in mind in how much I need to bring in. 

6. METHODS

Ideas are good, but actions are better.  This section is all about creating a plan to identify what the most important actions are needed to achieve your goal.  Methods also have to do with the most important word in sales: VALUE.  What are your methods to bring value?  In the many crowded markets that we operate in, how will you differentiate yourself and your product?  Developing a daily, weekly, and monthly process is the most effective way to perform at your best.  This single step is why I have had the success I’ve had in my medical device sales role (Rookie of the Year, back to back Top Performer Award, #1 in product orders in the nation last year).  Your PROCESS is everything.  #trusttheprocess.  To get there, answer these questions…

8M Questions to consider:

• What actions must I complete to take me closer to my goal?
• When will I achieve them?
• How often will I perform key tasks per day, week, or month?
• What is my value proposition?
• How am I, my product, and/or service different vs. the competition?
• What are my strengths?  How can I play to them more?

If you can master these 3 concepts, I guarantee you will out pace and out value your competition.  Own these 3 areas:

1. Anticipation – Anticipate the needs of the customer and market first.
2. Innovation – Don’t follow the heard, offer a new or different solution to the customer that solves a problem.  If you go the same direction as everyone else, it will be harder to get noticed.  Be different! When you can identify that need and pain point, and where there is a gap in the market…that is where you strike!  Formulate your offering in this space.
3. Domination – For the buyer, competition is good, but it’s not for you.  Don’t compete in your space, own and DOMINATE your space.  This will only happen with sacrifice, strategic thinking, and precision and execution. 

No one anticipated, innovated, and dominated better than Steve Jobs and Apple when he took over in 1997.  Jobs helped spawn the iMac, iPod, iTunes, Apple Store, iPhone, and iPad. By the time he was done…Apple didn’t have competition!!!  He changed the game forever (1 billion devices used world wide – Jobs got the job done).

Project Rise Application:

This one is a beast.  Here is just a small sample…My methods include:

• Offer a consistent brand of excellence that brings value through:
  • Uplifting posts on social media
  • One podcast a week
  • One video a week
  • Secure 3 speaking gigs a month
• Be authentic and vulnerable
• Be the best storyteller in the business
• Add humor and humility
• Give actionable tools and resources with every encounter (either one one one, with a group, or through my blogs, videos, or podcasts).

7. MOMENTUM

It’s a marathon, not a sprint.  A HUGE goal can sometimes feel overwhelming.  Often times the hardest step is the first one.  Break down your action plan in mini-seasons and preemptively set milestones that you are looking to achieve.  When you hit these milestones…CELEBRATE!  The grind is real.  Reward yourself by setting multiple action goals along the way that build over time.  This will help you build confidence and not be overwhelmed by the process. 

My senior year in football at WSU, we won the Pac-10 Championship by breaking down our season in several mini seasons: 1. Beat Idaho, 2. Win our non-coference games.  3.  Go undefeated at home.  4. Finish strong in November.  5. Be Pac-10 Champs and go to the Rose Bowl (which we did!).  How can you apply this concept in your business?

8M Questions to consider:

• What is the most important first step for you to take to dominate?
• How can you break down your vision into multiple seasons or sections…with each one getting more challenging than the previous?
• Can you list several key milestones?
• How will you reward yourself AND hold yourself accountable for achieving these milestones?

Project Rise Application:

My milestone points that will build momentum:

• Launch website
• Finish book and get published
• Secure multiple streams of income through:
  • Individual coaching
  • Speaking endevours
  • Book sales
• The ultimate milestone: Host a RISE Party book launch that is a mix between an educational seminar and a dance party…holla!!!!

8. MODELING

Any industry, skill, trade, or technique you want to learn has already been mastered and someone has written a book about it.  Go to a Barnes & Noble store (if they even exist where you live) or go on Amazon or iTunes and buy or download some books.  There are at least 10 + books in the field you are working in.  Study and master those concepts.  Discover who the best in your company is and build a relationship with them.  If you run your own business, research through your network to find individuals who are more seasoned or on a higher level than you.  Ask these people if the would mentor you (think about how you can bring them value as well).  Join a Master Mind small group and learn from other leaders in your field.  

YOU DON’T NEED TO REINVENT THE WHEEL!

You’ll learn more in 4 weeks with an expert in your field versus going to 4 years of college.  Success leaves clues.  In order to innovate, you need to master what already has been offered first.  Somebody has already paved the way for you.  This technique is called “drafting.”  Just like in bike and car racing – you’re following an established leader.  Follow the path modeled by someone who has been extremely successful and is winning.  Wisdom is created in one of two ways: 1. By experience, or 2. By learning from others who have already done it.  Based on my “drafting” analogy, which one is the most efficient, requires less failures, and will save you energy?…I hope you said, “learning from others.”  Below are options to learn from others who have paved the way.  These mentors can be found in many difference forms.  

8M Questions to consider:

What people or topics will you research or connect with in these 7 areas?  I call this VAP2ERS Modeling.

Mentorship is such an underrated tool for success.  Get your mentors lined up now and watch how much faster you’ll reach your financial goals!!! I’m so passionate about this topic, I could write a whole other blog post on this!

Project Rise Application:

I’ll use my VAP2ERS Model to share who my mentors are…

• I watch a TON of YouTube VIDEOS on:
  • Tony Robbins
  • Gary V.
  • Simon Sinek

• AUDIOBOOKS…There is not enough room on this page.  Audiobooks are my favorite way to learn because I drive so much.  The last few audiobooks I listened to where:
  • The Little Red Book of Selling
  • Grit
  • How to Build Self Discipline for Entrepreneurs 

• PAPERBACKS…I prefer audio over written, but I do usually have a book nearby to read at night, or on a flight.  Here are the last two I’ve read:
  • The Circle Maker
  • Good to Great
• My Favorite PODCASTS are:
  • School of Greatness, Lewis Howes (without any doubt my number 1 source of inspiration)
  • The Tim Ferriss Show

• ELECTRONICS…let’s face it, we all have a smartphone and/or tablet.  Use them for something productive instead of Snap, Insta, Twitter, and FB.  I recently downloaded on my iPad and read:
  • Sell or Be Sold, Grant Cardone
  • I use Wikepedia constantly
  • I Google stuff non stop
  • Remember to use YouTube as a platform to learn…not just watch cat videos

• REAL PERSON…
  • My work mentor this year is a 5-time Manager of the year in my company and an amazing guy: Rick Schulz.  We talk on the phone at least once a month about leadership, vision, balance, and execution.
  • I’m doing Life Coaching with an entrepreneur and business owner named Sean McCormick. He owns Float Seattle…if you want a relaxing experience for your mind, body, and soul…you got to check it out!

• SMALL GROUP…Meeting once a month with several like minded individuals that challenge you and hold you accountable is such a life changing advantage.  I’ve been meeting with two small groups this past year.  Even though I am out of town for our meeting tomorrow…my guys are Skyping me on by boy B. Hopp’s big screen in his office at 6:15am…now that is dedication! (shout out to the Power Tribe: Mike Isaacson, Charly Martin, and Brian Hopper).  Love you guys and I learn so much from you!

 Is this list perfect and the end all be all?  No, but’s a great place to start.  

I have the desire and patience to see this list through.  Do you?  We all have to start somewhere.  Take an hour…go to a Starbucks.  Brainstorm ideas with a Master Mind group of people who inspire you.  Just stop thinking, daydreaming, and wishing…START DOING!

Use the 8 M’s of Making Money as your template to create the road map of success.  Big time results will not just magically happen.  You have to put thought, effort, and energy into creating your mindset and plan.  Once this step is done…it’s time to EXECUTE.  

I believe in you and can’t wait to hear the success stories on how you took this first step in controlling your financial destiny by pursuing your passion, playing to your strengths, and positively impacting others along the way – all while utilizing these 8 steps to becoming the wealthiest version of you! 

Possible book cover?

WHERE ARE MY SALES PEOPLE AT?

Take some advice from my boy 50 Cent

Everyone is in sales.  Whether you are a parent, teacher, preacher, spouse, doctor, lawyer, coach, banker, personal trainer, barber, real estate agent, or in landscaping – everyone is selling.  It could be a concept, new idea, a product, or service…either way, whoever is the most skilled at listening, communicating, influencing, and delivering value – reaps the most rewards – personally and professionally.  Selling to your kids, spouse, friends, co-worker, potential buyers/customers/consumers all takes a specific set of skills.

Being that I make a living as a salesman to support my family (I’ve been in medical sales for over 10 years now), I have recently been doing my best to fine tune my craft.  Let’s face it, no one likes the feeling of being sold anything.  I don’t either.  I try to look at myself as providing value; being more of a consultant than a salesman; a partner in helping someone achieve a goal; and a problem solver.  All of these examples require a great deal of time, experience, and failures. 

For all of you in sales right now (which technically can mean everyone): 

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MASTER YOUR CRAFT?

Most of the books I read are personal development books about mastering your mindset, overcoming adversity, leadership, and creating better habits.  I decided recently to delve deeper into the art of selling.  I’m in the process of going ALL-IN on learning from the best minds and authors in this space.  Being a territory manager and sales trainer, I’m very curious at looking at new strategies to help others and myself improve how impactful our sales calls can be.

I’m going to stop right here and make a confession:

I feel that I am somewhat of a hypocrite.  I preach all day about the importance and power of investing in your personal development, which I have committed to with 100% passion and focus.  I read or listen to at least 4 books a month.  However, as a salesman, I have not made the topic of SELLING a main book genre that I have studied.  I went through sales training with two Fortune 500 companies; I’ve read a few books and articles here and there; but I have not committed to this area enough.  For the next few months I am going to attack selling books, podcasts, YouTube videos, and key thought leaders in this field.  I have devoured three books by Grant Cardone recently (click on his name to go to his website).  I’ll share my findings in my next post.  He has been thought of by several media outlets as the best sales trainer in the world. 

According to Cardone, there are many amateurs in the selling profession.  Who would Cardone call an amateur?  Someone who doesn’t sharpen their ax by learning and applying new ideas in their given field.  Instead, they wake up and keep doing what they’ve always done – not learning new techniques and skills, but relying on what they used to do and have always done.  “If it worked ten years ago, it will work again,” they might say.  This average approach creates average results.

I’m calling myself out right now and need to get better at this.  What about you?  Are you reading up on the latest sales strategies & techniques? 

Would you see a doctor who wasn’t trained and experienced in the latest advances in medicine?  Would you select a financial planner who isn’t growing their knowledge on the stock market and trading daily?  There is no chance you would pick a real estate agent to help you sell your house if they weren’t experts in the current market and up to speed with the latest tools to attract buyers. 

If you are in the sales profession, LET’S GO, and invest in your knowledge, so we can apply new findings and improve our production.

Some great pearls in Conversations that Win the Complex Sale

When you improve your sales, let’s face it, YOU FEEL AWESOME!  You’ll have more confidence and motivation to try new things and stretch your comfort zone.  This is where personal growth happens, which creates ultimate fulfillment.   I offer these three books that I recently read that might help you learn a few new tricks of the trade and help you improve your sales.  Give these books a try to increase your influence (if you don’t like to read…try them in audio book form):  

• Conversations That Win The Complex Sell: Using Power Messaging to Create More Opportunities, Differentiate Your Solutions, and Close More Deals (Thanks Jimmy L)
  • From using props, to storytelling, to drawing out your message on a white board or basic piece of paper, the authors give several unique approaches to differentiate you and your product or service.
• The Challenger Sale: Taking Control of the Customer Conversation (Thanks Mike Ike)  
  • There are 5 different categories of sales people.  Many successful professionals operate in a mix of all, but the Challenger was found to have more success with the complex sell vs. what many managers thought would prevail – the Relationship Builder.  The elite salesman will beat the friend every time.  Here is the list from top to bottom on effectiveness:  
  1. The Challenger
  2. The Lone Wolf
  3. The Hard Worker
  4. The Problem Solver
  5. The Relationship Builder
• Good to Great: Why Some Companies Take the Leap and Others Don’t (Thanks Tony K)
  • This is an oldie but goodie.  The author, Jim Collins, and his research team did a deep dive study into identifying what key leadership factors took average companies to great companies.  This read is perfect for leaders and managers.

Below is a video discussing key findings from the Challenger Sale:

PLEASE RESPOND TO ONE OF MY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS WITH YOUR FAVORITE BOOK ON SELLING AND LETS HELP EACH OTHER GET BETTER!

In my next post, I’ll share a new approach (inspired by three Grant Cardone books I have read) that will give you a framework to INCREASE YOUR SALES; launch the side project that you have always dreampt about making a full time venture; and for all my entrepreneurs, this system will help take your business to the next level.  I’ll share examples of how I’ve applied this framework with Project Rise.

Thanks and have an AWESOME WEEK!!!

PROJECT RISE PODCAST EPISODE 3: CHARLY MARTIN

LISTEN TO PODCAST HERE

Remember the Monday Night Football game against the Green Bay Packers when at the last second, Seattle Seahawk’s Golden Tate made one of the most famous catches in NFL history? Well, I sat down with the other Seahawk wide-receiver who was in the endzone at the infamous moment – Charly Martin.  His recollection of that iconic play is one for the ages.

Charly was born in Walla Walla, Washington and later moved to Farmington, New Mexico where he completed high school as an excellent all around student-athlete.  Lacking a Division I scholarship though, Charly defied the odds as a record setting All-American at the Division II powerhouse, West Texas A&M.  He offers enlightening insights on what it took to not only make it in the NFL, but to also stay in the league for five years.

In addition, Charly shares what it was like to transition out of the life as a professional athlete, and into a successful career as the Northwest Vice President of Sales at the private aviation company – Wheels Up.

Charly is one of my best friends and I am so proud to call him family.  He is a devoted husband to his lovely wife Courtney, and their studly three year old son, Charles William Martin, V. – Kendra and I are so proud to be Lil C’s Godparents.

Charly and my daughter Bellamy…we totally support arranged marriages.

What inspires me most about Charly is his unwavering vision and belief in himself.  These traits are what makes uncommon people uncommon.  His will to overcome adversity, the ability to push himself beyond his limits, and commitment to excellence are what drive him to succeed.

LISTEN TO PODCAST HERE

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend!

INVEST IN YOU

These signs look familiar?

My life didn’t change until I changed one specific habit. 

Before I share with you what that one habit is, let me give you some context on what drew me to this realization.  It all started over three years ago, when I was working in oncology sales at my previous company.  I was in an account manager role, and it just wasn’t the right fit.  The timing was awful.  Due to some practices overseas, we were slapped with a Corporate Integrity Agreement, which forced us to revisit how our sales force was compensated…as in, no more pay for sales, but in verbal and written tests.  “Someone kill me now and take me out of my misery,” is what I thought on a day to day basis.  This role and compensation model made for many restless nights, my blood pressure was in the high 140’s, and I was taking medication to try to lower that number and my angst.  I wasn’t fulfilling my true potential and thriving at work.  Stressed and looking for ways to get me out of this funk, I tried several things. 

I first thought seeing a counselor would help.  I remember sending one particular counselor an email saying that I needed a “confidence coach,” to help me come up with ways to get me through this season in my life.  She really didn’t understand what I meant by confidence coach.  I must have done a not so good job of articulating what I was going through and needed.  Regardless, I went to see her for a few sessions and really didn’t feel the connection and growth I was looking for.

My next attempt to lower my stress was to take Transcendental Meditation training.  I read all of the benefits that this practice offers and how many celebrities swear by it…at that point, I was looking for anything.  So I ponied up the $750 fee and took the training, which was about 8 sessions in some random tiny house in Kirkland and my instructor must have been pushing 80 years old.  I am a big believer of practicing some type of mindfulness, visualization, and meditation, but this version did not give me the instant gratification I was seeking either.

Feeling stuck and running out of options, my manager sent everyone in our sales team a gift.  This one act if generosity and leadership was the solution I needed.  This one act kick started a movement within my soul.  

This gift was so simple; I had already done it hundreds of times before, but with a different intention and focus.  

This one life changing tactic has so immense power that in ancient times and even in early American history, people in positions of authority outlawed peasants, the lower class, and slaves access to this one skill.  Even to this day, whoever has the most access to this resources and utilizes it’s endless power can acquire healthier relationships, wealth, influence, health, and reaching one’s true potential – all the things I was looking for. 

This one simple act often times gets overlooked, downplayed, and forgotten as a strategy for optimization.  The most successful people in the world know and use this gift daily.  So, what is this gift?  READING A BOOK.

I’ve mentioned this before on my blog, but its worth mentioning again.  The book that my manager gifted was called Positive Intelligence, by Shirzad Chamine.  This one piece of literature gave me the tools to identify and overcome negative thought patterns, as well as help me with strategies to improve my mindset, perspective, and ability to execute.  With this knowledge, I had the confidence and mental focus to leave pharmaceutical sales and crack into the highly competitive medical device industry with a Fortune 500 company and market leader.

Once at my new company, I was assigned a mentor named Frankie, who was all about investing in his personal development.  Frankie was very successful throughout his career – being on stage and winning national awards nearly every year.  I wanted what he had and asked him how I could get there.  His answer was NOT to ask insightful questions, handle objections properly, or to “ABC” (Always Be Closing).  Instead he gave me a list of about 25 books that were game changers for him.  He said, if you read these and apply them, the sky is the limit for you.  After seeing the drastic improvement just one book did for me, I started to clap my hands with excitement, thinking of the impact that reading more books would do!

Simple concept with huge payoffs

I attacked that list like a white blood cell engulfing a foreign particle in our blood stream.  I was ALL IN and with each book consumed, I felt stronger and desired more information.  

I made reading and listening to audiobooks a daily habit.  The results of this practice have manifested many wonderful things in my life that would not have possible if I would have gone back to my original habits of watching movies weekly, binging on Netflix and TV; wasting hours dinking around on my phone; spending every minute in my car listening to music, talk radio, or chatting on the phone.  I instead made it a point to take in as much information as I could. 

Everything we could possibly want or need has already been done, and most likely, someone has written about it.

This one habit of going all in on my personal development has changed everything for me: from being Rookie of the Year, back to back Top Performer Awards, creating a blog, being invited to speak to a variety of audiences, and even completing the contentof my first book (it is in the editing process right now, but I can’t wait to give you guys more insights later)!  All of these accomplishments could not have been possible without making daily reading a non negotiable with myself.  I’m all about non-fiction books…what about you?  

What are you investing in?

The average CEO reads about 4-5 books per month, which is 50-60 per year.  Conversely, 25-30% of Americans read zero books in a year.  The mean number of books the average American reads is 5 (this number is inflated by the small percentage who read much more).  There is no arguing why the most influential and successful people in business and life read in one month what the average person reads in one year.  

According to Lana Winter-Hebert from LifeHacks.org, there are many benefits to reading:

• Improves mental stimulation

• Reduces stress

• Increases knowledge

• Expands your vocabulary

• Improves your memory

• Creates stronger analytical thinking skills
• Improves focus and concentration
• Improves writing skills

As reported in the Huffington Post:

• Bill Gates reads about 50 books per year (one per week)

• Mark Cuban reads more than 3 hours every day

• Elon Musk is an avid reader and when asked how he learned to build rockets, he said, “I read books.”

• Mark Zuckerberg resolved to read a book every 2 weeks throughout 2015

If these icons have enough time to read and make it a priority in their daily lives, we definitely should too.

Marguerite Ward from CNBC Money wrote an eye popping article on what Warren Buffett calls the secret to his success.  Buffett says that he spends about 80 percent of his time each day reading.  He even tries to read up to 500 pages per day!  He says that reading is like compound interest – the earlier and more often you do it, the wealthier you will become!

I usually have one book I’m reading and one I’m listening to in audiobook form at the same time. My goal is to consume and finish 4 books a month.  I just finished the book, TheCircle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears, by Mark Batterson.  While I was reading that, I’d listen to Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passionand Perseverance in audiobook form (I only have one hour until I’m done!).  I’m now reading Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…And Others Don’t, by Jim Collins…its a classic!

While I read and listen to my books, I always keep notes and write down the points that speak to me.  Many of my quotes I list on my social media platforms are inspired by something I read or heard.  These artists, authors, researchers, and creators definitely inspire me to innovate, face my fears, and be my best self.  I want you to feel this crazy force of good and inspiration for yourself!

Big things come in small packages…like a book 

HERE ARE MY 6 TIPS TO READ MORE BOOKS:

1. Look at your monthly expenses and budget at least $40-$50 per month on books ($10-15 for a physical book, and about $20 for an audiobook)…trust me, it will be the best investment you will ever make!  If you are a manager…add this into your team’s budget and let your team expense it.  
   • If you don’t have the budget, go to the library, ask your friends to borrow one of their favorites, or check out iTunes and Android apps which offer free books.
   • BookBub offers thousands of free or discounted books…check them out here!
2. Use your phone, iPad, or other devices to download books to read (Kindle, Nook, etc).  This method is usually cheaper than a hard copy and takes up less space!  For e-book device reviews, check out this article.
3. Use iTunes to download audiobooks.  This method has changed everything for me.  When I drive, this is my go-to to pass the time (or Podcasts).  Instead of wasting away to music all day, get your mind right!  I also use this method when I work out at the gym or go on a walk/run…your brain is a muscle too!
4. Pick a consistent time in the day to read.  While getting started, pencil this time into your calendar.  Mornings or evenings are the most common.  I like to read at night when my wife is working in her office or when I jump in bed.  This relaxes my mind and helps me sleep better (two pretty awesome benefits).
   • If you read 15 minutes a day, every day of the year, you’ll read twelve 200 page books in one year!
   • A half hour a day would bring your total up to 24 books a year…remember: learners are earners!
5. Get some friends together and create a book club.  You can do this at work and improve on personal development with members of your team; you can do a book study with a local small group within your church; or you can meet at Starbucks once a month with a few friends and discuss a shared book.  I’ve done all three of these.  When you go in on something together, it makes it more fun and holds you accountable.  Be a leader and set in motion positive change by getting a few people to learn together.
6. Download this app: Blinklist.  This app has a digital library of thousands of books and reproduces them in summary form.  You can listen or read the main points of an entire book in just 10-15 minutes!  All of the best selling books and authors in the world are at your disposal.  There is a small fee, but its worth it.  I get great new book suggestions based on my interests, which I love.  With this app, I have read dozens of books that I’ve always wanted to read, but didn’t have enough time to get to…now with this app…the book world is at my fingertips! 

I definitely do not want to go back to that place where I was before I discovered the power of reading consistently.  

My hope is that you channel this same power and apply it to your life.  Be curious…feed that curiosity with knowledge.  Apply that knowledge and reap the rewards….who knows, if you read enough books, you might be a CEO one day.

Here is my book teaser…below is a list of books I reference in my new book coming soon!  I hope this list will help light a fire inside to be your best self.

Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential AND HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOURS, by Shirzad Chamine

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol Dweck

Confidence: How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs and Achieve Your Goals, by Martin Meadows

The End of Stress: Four Steps to Rewire Your Brain, Don Joseph Goewey

No Excuses!: The Power of Self-Discipline for Success in Your Life, by Brian Tracy

Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill

The 10X Rule: The Only Difference Between Success and Failure, by Grant Cardone

The School of Greatness: A Real-World Guide to Living Bigger, Loving Deeper, and Leaving a Legacy, by Lewis Howes

9 Things Successful People Do Differently, by Heidi Grant Halvorson

Grit: The Power of Passion and Persistence, by Angela Duckworth

18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done, by Peter Bregman

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, by Charles Duhigg

The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work, by Shawn Achor

The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simply Truth Behind Extraordinary Results, by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan

The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work, and Team with Positive Energy, by Jon Gordon

The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph, by Ryan Holiday

Successful Advertising. 1885, by Thomas Smith

The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne

StrengthsFinder 2.0, by Tom Rath

Lead Like Jesus: Lessons from the Greatest Leadership Role Model of All Time, by Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges

The Hidden Gifts of Helping: How the Power of Giving, Compassion, and Hope Can Get Us Through Hard Times, by Stephen G. Post

Ego Is the Enemy, by Ryan Holiday

Tools For Titans: The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers, by Tim Ferriss

The Alchemist: A Fable About Following Your Dream, by Paulo Coelho

Make the Bigtime Where You Are, by Frosty Westering

PROJECT RISE PODCAST EPISODE 2: MIKE ISAACSON

Holdin’ it down in Mike’s beautiful Kirkland home and office

Project Rise Podcast Episode 2’s guest is Mike Isaacson.  Mike is a Wenatchee boy who now lives in Kirkland with his wife, Jodi, and two beautiful girls, Quinn and Eva.

I first met Mike the summer after high school during the week of the Washington State East-West All-State football game.  We then became teammates at Washington State University.  Mike’s outgoing personality, sincere curiosity, and passion for peak performance made the perfect formula for us to connect and be great friends for many years.

Why you should listen?

To say Mike is crushing it would be an understatement.  After being a successful sales rep for several years in the highly competitive spine medical device industry, Mike was promoted to a District Manager at Medtronic at the age of 29, and now is an area Vice President at Ortho Kinematics.

On paper, Mike has all the measurables of success – he has the houses, the cars, and the financial freedom that come with high achievement – but, what I’m most impressed with is his work ethic, passion to serve others, and how he is as a loving husband, father, and devoted friend.  I truly love this guy and I want you to enjoy some of the things that Mike has taught me over our 18 years of friendship.

In this episode, Mike tells powerful stories of overcoming adversity, leadership, investing in your personal development, and examples of being a young entrepreneur.

Take a listen and if you enjoy this episode, share it with a friend.  Thank you!

Listen to the podcast here.

GET BETTER WITH GRIT

Last Wednesday night while coaching football, I decided to show the high school kids a thing or two.  We reached the end of practice and we were finishing the session up with some competition – a little one-on-one drill.  It’s pretty simple, the receivers try to get open by using the technique and tricks that I taught them during their individual session, and the defensive backs are tasked to lock them down.

Our defensive backs coach, Jeffery Solomon (aka, Solo), played for WSU and also in the Arena League for several years.  He is a beast, still under 30 years old, and could strap up and be an impact player at most D-I programs right now.  It’s pretty awesome when your coach can dominate you…in the end, kids do what you do, not what you say.  Well, Solo jumped into the one-on-one drills and was balling on these young guys.  Watching this, I got the itch to get in on the competition and dust the old white boy receiver skills off and show them how it’s done.

Solo making plays vs. UCLA

In my mind I envisioned myself being like Julian Edleman carving up the Atlanta Falcon’s defense in the Super Bowl.  After all, I once was a 4-year starter in the Pac-10 (now Pac-12), “I can take these high school kids,” I thought, “I got dang near 20 years of experience on these guys, I got this!”  I didn’t have any cleats…no big deal.  No receiver gloves, no problem!  The fact that I had the Norovirus the weekend before didn’t even hold me back either (no food for several days…no biggie!).

My first rep didn’t go so well.  I guess I’m not as strong as I used to be.  The second rep, I dropped the ball over the middle…where did my “sure hands” go?  The third rep, the ball got tipped away at the last minute.  I kept jumping in expecting a different result, but instead of being Edleman, I was more like Pee-Wee Herman.  I only caught 3 balls out of 10…are you kidding me?!!  That’s it…only 3 balls?…that’s a 70% failure rate!

When we finished, I walked to my car, pulled my hood over my head and zipped up my jacket feeling the cold winter wind chill rush all over me.  I don’t know what stung worst, the cold, or my lack luster performance.  My legs were wobbly and my ego definitely dropped a few notches.  This type of performance could have put me into official retirement, but this time around, being much older and wiser, I’m approaching this situation differently than when I was my younger immature self.

As I pulled into the driveway when I got home, I had already made the decision to give that drill another try.  I envisioned what cleats and gloves I was going to wear, and even visualized a few routes that I know will work.  I walked into my house excited for the next time.  I knew that my credibility as a coach and an athlete were not defined by that one failure.  I didn’t win that day, but I knew that the next time would be better and that I could learn and grow from that experience to attack the next competition with excitement and gratitude.

It’s taken me 36 years to have that kind of a mindset.  When I was a student-athlete or even in the professional world of medical sales, I had the opposite mindset.  I felt like I constantly had to “prove” myself, which ended up hindering my performance…with each move or step, I would constantly evaluate myself and picture what others thought of me.  I was constantly comparing.  This mental approach no doubt hindered my ability to compete at peak performance.  For many, past failures exacerbate fears of feature failure.  This cycle creates self doubt and often times anxiety.

These internal fears and anxiety lead people to give up, quit, or avoid being put into similar situations again.  Thus, their true potential is never fully actualized.

Performance anxiety is a real thing, and for some reason, 
NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT.  

Here are some alarming stats:

• 32% of teens suffer from some form of anxiety – National Institute of Health
• 85% of collegiate athletic trainers report that anxiety hinders their student-athlete’s ability to perform at their best. – NCAA.org
• 40 million American adults (18.1%) suffer from anxiety. – National Institute of Mental Health 

These are just reported cases covering a broad spectrum.  There just isn’t much data on evaluating specific areas and ways to not only cope, but to discuss and find strategies to improve self limiting beliefs as a collective group.

Whether it is being super stressed before taking a test, feeling like a nervous wreck when your supervisor is evaluating you, or feeling anxious before a big game or presentation, we need to acknowledge that being nervous, stressed, and anxious is a natural human emotion that needs to be better addressed.

According to Dr. Heidi Grant, performance psychologist at Columbia University, the brain can hold 5 to 7 thoughts or ideas at one time.  When the brain is in a state of anxiety, it can only hold 2 to 3 concepts.  When we are operating in an anxious state and constantly trying to “prove” ourself, we are living in what Grant calls a “Be Good” mindset.  Individuals with a “Be Good” mindset avoid failure, constantly compare, and seek validation in performance only.  They have the idea that they have to “be good” at something in order to be a good person.  This mindset is definitely part of the anxiety problem.

Does this sound familiar to you or anybody you know, lead, or coach?

While at our national sales meeting in Miami a few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of listening to Dr. Grant lecture in person on this topic.  My pen and note taking skills were working overtime!  I was soaking in her insights and felt like she was talking about me and my former self.

The goal, she says is to have a “Get Better” mindset (Stanford’s Dr. Carol Dweck calls it a “Growth” mindset, which if you have followed this blog, you have heard me mention this before).  Instead of focusing on PROVING yourself, try to focus on IMPROVING yourself.  We all are a work in progress and no one is perfect.  Fear of failure is the enemy to creativity and performing at your best…no matter the area…work, socially, athletically, etc.  When your thought process is all about PROGRESS not PERFECTION, what happens is powerful, you will start to perform better.

The best operate with this philosophy…they are not defined by their failure.  What do you think Tom Brady was thinking after he threw that pick 6 and was down 25 points in the 3rd quarter of the Super Bowl?  The reason why he is the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) is that he learns from his mistakes; he uses them to grow; and he expects the best is yet to come.  Other people’s opinion’s don’t matter, just his own and those in his locker room.  Brady fails, thus he succeeds  He succeeds, because he fails.

The Patriots are the personification of PASSION meets PERSEVERANCE.

Most of the entire New England Patriot’s roster is full of rejects, misfits, and “failures” who are filled with GRIT.  Someone needs to do a deep study on their model because 7 Super Bowls and 5 rings tells me that Belichick and Brady have this “Get Better” Mindset down to a science.  This example should give you hope that if at first you don’t succeed, keep grinding, keep pushing, keep competing, and your day will come…

You are not defined by your failure, but how you react and grow from it!

Newly hired Minnesota Gopher Football Coach, PJ Fleck, has mentioned multiple times that he recruits kids that have failed.  He looks for coaches who have failed.  He focuses his whole program around surrounding himself, his staff, and players with individuals who have failed and have GRIT – passion and perseverance.  Talent does not beat skill.  Talent might pass the eye test and win early, but skill is something that is developed over time.  With an insane work ethic, and a thirst to win the war, not just the battle, you will improve your Grit, thus improve your likelihood to achieve your long term goals.

The Mount Rushmore of Performance Psychologists and my favorites…read their books! 

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverence, by Angela Duckworth
9 Things Successful People Do Differently, by Heidi Grant
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Carol Dweck

Penn’s Angela Duckworth, studied and wrote a book about Grit and the power of passion and perseverance.  Many prominent leaders in business and sports are trying to tap in this new science of understanding grit and how to identify it and coach it.  Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll has even brought Duckworth into to speak to his team to change their lens on failure and persevering.

Grant, Duckworth, and Dweck agree…find individuals that have grit, and you’ll build a winning culture and team.  This mindset retools how we look at failure.

The statement, “I’m not good,” should not be in your vocabulary.  Instead, you should say, “I’m not there yet.”  

This philosophy will help lower some of that anxiety.  The threat of a loss will soon lose its crippling power.  When you approach competition and life with a “Get Better” or “Growth” mindset, this approach turns failure into a stepping stone for improvement, instead of being a road block.

Here are some tips to lower anxiety and improve performance with a healthy mindset:
Leaders, Teachers, Coaches, and Parents:

• Reward the right thing: effort, unselfishness, and perseverance instead of outcomes only
• Institute the 5-Minute Rule…before any coaching, teaching, or feedback takes place; check in with others on a human level for 5 minutes.  Let them feel that you value them as a person, not just as a cog in the big machine that serves you 
• When giving feedback, make it more process driven versus result driven (for example a player misses a shot, instead of saying, “Make the shot!” Say, “Balance your feet first, then shoot!  You got this!”)

Individuals in Non Supervisor, Manager, or Coaching roles:

• Develop daily routines – mentally and physically – create your “process”
• Have multiple level goals all funneling into the same BIG end goal (this will keep you on your path)
• View yourself as a “work in progress,” Rome wasn’t built in a day and nor are you
• Seek self-love outside of one area of your life (you are more than just a sales rep, an athlete, insurance agent, car salesman etc.)
• Know that you are not perfect (no one is) and use failure to build your knowledge and skill sets

If you take the advice above, you’ll be well on your way to being the best version of you. 

I can’t wait to apply these tactics next week at my wide receiver’s practice.  With my “Get Better” mindset and going all-in on believing and demonstrating GRIT, I’m confident my walk back to my car after a session of competing in one-one-one drills, I’ll have my chest out; I’ll be walking with swag feeling the wind at my back (healthy mindset) instead of it pushing me back (unhealthy mindset).  I’ll keep you posted!  In the meantime, check out this 6 minute video of Dr. Duckworth talking about GRIT.

PROJECT RISE PODCAST EPISODE 1: BRIAN HOPPER

B. Hop and I in his amazing Kirkland office

This has been a long time coming.  I’ve wanted to do a podcast for a while now and I’m pumped to finally have completed my first one!  The premise of the show is to interview ORDINARY PEOPLE DOING EXTRAORDINARY THINGS.  I want to learn the strategies, patterns, and habits of people who might not be making the headlines, but are thriving and making  a difference for others.  I have a list of people that I’m excited to share their stories with you.

Because for me…I get more motivation when someone I know, went to school with, or is from my community is dominating…personally and professionally.  That pushes me and gives me the confidence to say, “I can do it too!”  I hope this show will do that for you as well.

Let me say that this is a learning experience and I definitely have a ways to go until this show is racking up listeners on iTunes, but I’ve shifted my mindset away from perfection and making my creative outlets (blog, videos, and now podcasts) all about connection.

SEEK CONNECTION NOT PERFECTION

In everything you do.

Is my mic the best? No.  Do I have a perfect interview style?  No.  Is my editing off the charts good?  No.  BUT SO WHAT!  It’s all about content and I’ll get better in all of those areas over time.

With that said…I’m excited to introduce you to my first guest on the Project Rise Podcast…Brian Hopper (or B. Hop as I like to call him).  Brain and his wife Nicole founded Hopper Group Real Estate several years ago (check their link out HERE).  To say that Brian and his team are CRUSHING it would be an understatement.  Their personalized, all about the small things, and detailed approach have separated their services from the pack and into a whole new level of buying and selling dream homes for people.

Brian’s story will give you the push you might need to finally take the steps necessary to finally pursue your passion.  He also gives great wisdom on finding balance in your life aside from the daily hustle of being a successful entrepreneur.  Take a listen and share it with a friend.  I hope you enjoy and MAKE TODAY THE DAY, WHERE YOU BECOME THE BEST VERSION OF YOU!

Project Rise Podcast link HERE.

PROJECT RISE SPOTLIGHT: DABO SWINNEY

“We won because of LOVE!”

-Dabo Sweeney

Project Rise SPOTLIGHT: Dabo Swinney

What if you made the emotion of LOVE a competitive advantage?  Well, that is what the leader of the Clemson Tiger’s and 2017 National Champions did.  As a young boy, Dabo Swinney received his name from his brother who while trying to say “Dat boy,” created “Dabo.”  Coach Swinney is a breathe of fresh air and has modeled a leadership style and culture within his program that has drawn me into studying his methodology.

Dabo and I have two things in common: 1. We both share the middle name Christopher (his birth first name is William), and 2. We both have the same word of the year (I had no idea about this until his post game speech with Sam Ponder that rocked me): LOVE.

With not much time on the clock and trailing Alabama, Dabo gave some bone chilling advice on how to be clutch:

“Let the light inside you shine brighter than the light that’s on you.”

Many leaders and coaches believe they need to motivate by fear.  I believe that discipline, hard work, and accountability are definitely needed – but what if we switch up the phrase “tough love” and instead “love tough?”  Dabo has modeled that his entire career.

There is a reason why Dabo is one of the top recruiters in the nation: LOVE for people.

There is a reason he walked on at Alabama and earned a scholarship: LOVE to compete.

There is a reason that after taking a few years off of coaching to sell real estate, he didn’t give up his dream of being a head coach: LOVE of the game.

There is a reason he has won Coach of the Year in the ACC and Nationally: LOVE to lead.

Here are my 4 Pillars of Being a LOVING Leader and creating a winning team culture…inspired by Dabo:

1. Energy – loving energy is contagious.
2. Vulnerability – take ego out of the equation and big things will happen.
3. Sacrifice – imagine how far we can go if no one cares who gets the credit?
4. Trust – we are stronger together – do your job and trust your teammate will do theirs.

How can you incorporate more LOVE into your home, workplace, or team?  Love is the most powerful emotion one can feel and give to others.  Like Dabo displayed, love might be the missing link to creating the environment or outcomes you have been looking for. 

Because in the end, love is as much a choice, as it is a feeling. 

If you didn’t see Dabo’s post game interview moments after winning the National Championship vs. his alma mater Alabama on the final drive…it’s one for the ages and a must see.  Oh, and one final thing…I LOVE you guys!

ONE QUESTION

Did you ever play with an 8-Ball as a kid?  Maybe at a party or with friends…you’d ask this silly contraption a question, shake it, then wait with baited breathe to see what it would say?  This novelty toy was invented in the 1950’s by Albert Carter and manufactured by Mattel and has been a staple at middle school parties for decades.

As you know, the Magic 8-Ball is used for fortune-telling or seeking advice with a humorous slant–it gives very accurate, very inaccurate, or otherwise statistically improbable answers.  The 20 answers that it offers come in three different categories in some form or fashion:

• Yes
• I don’t know or ask again later
• No

In life, we all are seeking answers for the many obstacles it throws at us: how to handle a situation, ideas to solve a problem, or answers on what to do next.  Maybe you have a a new project at work and are looking for inspiration.  Or, you and your spouse are trying to figure out how to deal with a situation that involves your child.  Or maybe, you are just seeking direction and purpose on what do to next in your life.

Luckily for you and everyone else, we don’t get our answers by asking a black round sphere a question then shake it, and hope for the best.

So let me ask you this question:

How do you get your answers?

We all are seeking answers and knowledge.  No doubt, we have the Internet, Google, Wikipedia, and other technical options to find solutions.  YouTube is one of my favorite places to figure out how to do something,..like how to make slime (that was the first to pop up when I typed in “how to…”) or how to tie a tie, or how to fix a cracked phone screen (another popular one).  There are a TON of resources to gain insights on facts, how-to’s, opinions, and history of someone or something.

However, our toughest questions cannot be answered by clicking a search button on a device. 

Let me share a strategy that is life changing, simple, and if used correctly–extremely powerful.  This approach pulls from infinite wisdom so endless and abundant, it puts Google to shame.  This daily ritual, if done consistently, will take you to places you have never been, give you peace you have never felt, and create clarity and decisiveness you otherwise wouldn’t see.

So what is this solution…It’s MEDITATION.  

You most likely have heard this offering before and how meditation can improve creative thinking, our energy, stress levels, and even our success.  Billionaires, world class athletes, icons, and top performers utilize this technique.  If this is so, why do so many of us not do it?

My answer is that I think meditation is often misunderstood (it’s only for monks and for people who do kung-fu).  I actually think the main reason is because people don’t know how to do it properly.  Either they get too board with it, or actually fall asleep!  My goal is to give you a few simple steps to help you make making mindfulness a daily practice.  Before I do that, let me remind you of a few reasons WHY you should really make meditation, visualization, and mindfulness your go-to when you need peace, rest, and answers. 

In an article in the Huffington Post, Dr. Hedy Kober, who is a neuroscience expert who studies the effects of mindful meditation, offers this, “It did to my mind what going to the gym did to my body–it made it both stronger and more flexible.”  

LifeHack offers these top 10 benefits of Mediation that you might not know:

1. It boosts your immune system
2. Improves fertility
3. Reduces stress
4. Improves self-acceptance
5. Improves self-confidence
6. Improves your relationships
7. Increases creativity
8. Offers pain relief
9. It improves concentration
10. It fosters a feeling of “wholeness”

You already do some form of mindfulness in your own way…driving a car, doing yoga, taking a long hot shower, praying, going on a peaceful walk, the time between when you wake up and actually get out of bed…some of my best ideas have come during these times.

My favorite part of yoga, is the relaxation/mindfulness time at the end.

A few years ago, I received training on Transcendental Meditation (TM).  I was going through a rough patch in my career, was dealing with stress, and was looking for a release.  Oprah, Russell Simmons, Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, and many other well know successful people swear by it, so I thought…why not give it a try?  It was a good experience, but what I found out is that I preferred “guided meditation” over TM’s approach.

A Few Options
A great resource to learn how to practice guided meditation is through an awesome app called:  Headspace.  I heard about it from the Lewis Howes Podcast.  One of my heroes, Tim Farriss has endorsed this approach as well.  With over 6 million downloads, I’d say that it is working for many!  You can customized what you are looking for based on needs and time length.  You will listen to the creator–Andy–who has a soothing accent (British I believe), guide you through your meditation each time.  This is approach will you are getting started…the first ten sessions are FREE! 

Another resource you can utilize is to check out Tara Bach’s website, which offers great info on meditation, as well as offers a library that you can select by category.  Check it out.

Finally, I had the pleasure to take part in a men’s retreat this weekend with a group of successful guys down on the Oregon Coast this past week.  We called our getaway: Breakaway.  The intent of the weekend was to cast vision, create inspiration, and map out a plan to make 2017 our best year yet.  We had the pleasure of working with a business owner, entrepreneur,  certified life coach, and mediation expert, Sean McCormick.  Sean owns Float Seattle.  Sean guided the group in several mediation and visualization sessions, which were certainly powerful.  I encourage you to check out his website if you are looking for more mindfulness, peace and success!…click here.

Sean dropping knowledge…not a bad place to learn…on a legit recliner

5 Simple Steps to Practice More Mindfulness:

1. Prioritize a specific time during the day to allow a few minutes of quiet time to yourself (even if it’s just 5 minutes)
2. Avoid laying down, but find a cozy chair or sit in a comfortable position (this will limit the chance of falling asleep)
3. Spend the first minute or so focusing on your breathing…in through your nose, then out through your mouth.
4. At the beginning of this time, ask yourself a question…relax and let your heart and spirit (not your brain) go to work
5. Be open to receive omens, ideas, and inspiration to be the best version of you

I’ll Leave You With This:

Ask yourself at least one question each day and let your subconscious, God, and the universe go to work and bring you answers, solutions, guidance, and the peace of mind not found in an 8-Ball or Google.  Here’s a helpful hint: PUT YOUR CELL PHONE AWAY, be still, be mindful, and make some form of meditation a daily habit.  If you do, you’ll upgrade from your 8-Ball, and get more answers than “yes,” “ask again later,” or “no” (you may receive one of these three answers though anyway).  Regardless, give your mind, body, and soul, the gift of calm and peace…your future self will thank you.

WORD OF THE YEAR

Maybe my favorite phrase EVER!

As we embark on a new year, we often set New Year’s Resolutions that might include: losing weight, reading more, spending more time with your kids, or maybe it’s come up with a system to de-clutter your garage (Hello! I need help in that area).  So how are you going to get there and stick to your goals?

Let me share 3 strategies that will significantly increase the likelihood that you stick to your resolution:

1. Write it down
2. Come up with a word or phrase for the year that will drive action
3. Share it with others to help hold yourself accountable 

Write it down

In 2006, USA Today reported a study where they divided a large number of people who made New Year’s resolutions into two groups: those who wrote their resolutions down and those who didn’t.  Of the people who set New Year’s resolutions, but did not write them down, only 4%actually accomplished their goal.  Conversely, the group that wrote their New Year’s resolutions down, 44% followed through with their goal.  What a huge difference one simple exercise that only takes minutes makes!  It’s imperative to write your goals down!

Come up with a word or phrase for the year

There have been two books written about the power of coming up with “one word.”  The first is by Jon Gordon, who is a leader in team building and personal development.  His book One Word That Will Change Your Life is a simple quick read.  See Jon’s video below on the power of your one word.  Another book on the topic of coming up with a word to give you focus and vision came out recently called Your One Word, by Evan Carmichael.  Carmichael inspires thousands by his YouTube channel where he breaks down successful people’s strategies and beliefs to help others.

When you have your one word, make sure it is yours and no one elses.  Make sure it stirs up emotion inside of you.  Finally, make it a word or phrase that will inspire action.  My word for 2017 is:

LOVE – love God, love myself, love others, and love life by these 4 values.

L–learn – strive to learn

O–overcome – attack any and all adversity and fear

V–value – bring value to as many people as possible

E–energy – get more sleep, meditate more, and do more things that gives me energy

Share it with others

In order to make your one word or phrase live, include someone else or others on your mission.  If you do not come up with a way to hold yourself accountable, it will be tough to pull it through.  Here are some ideas for you:

• Tell someone you care about your one word
• Challenge them to come up with their one word
• Post your word/phrase of the year on social media
• Make a bet with someone to hold yourself to your goal
• Create an action plan
• Start small and continue to build on your actions – this builds confidence
• Reward yourself when you execute

Click on this link to download your Word of the Year Game-plan Worksheet.  This single sheet of paper is easy to fill out and will help you bring your word to life, create 3 action steps you can start today, and offers a few simple tactics to hold you accountable.

You can do it!!!  I believe in you.  Let’s make 2017 our best year yet.  Creating and living by your one word will help you do just that!  Much love to you and your family this year!!!  

PROJECT RISE SPOTLIGHT: WILL SMITH

One of the highest paid actors in Hollywood: Mr. Big Willy himself (oh, did I mention he has multiple Grammy’s as well?)

I’m a big fan of Will Smith.  Why might you ask?…it’s simple.  Pardon the pun, but he has “willed” his way to greatness with a ridiculous work ethic, clear vision for what he wants, is a student of particular patterns of success, and has an insane belief in himself.  We could all use more of that list above — including myself.

In order to be the best version of you, it starts by modeling those who have achieved greatness.  Greatness varies for person to person, but for me, greatness is defined by maximizing every ounce of potential of one’s ability, following your passion, and making a difference in the world.  I’d say Will can check all of those off his list.

Will’s new film is in theaters now.

If you are looking for inspiration to make 2017 your best year yet, study this video that has been masterfully cut-up to showcase Will’s values and belief system.  It’s just under 10 minutes and a must watch.  It’s a hidden gem and has only been viewed about 700 times!

A few months ago, I listened to this video while running on the treadmill each time I went to the gym…which was probably about 12 times in a month — it’s that good.  Take a look for yourself and apply these principles in your life and see what happens.  And while your at it, go watch Will’s new film: Collateral Beauty.  Art imitates life, and I always learn something from Smith’s films.

Happy New Year everyone!

GEAR GUIDE 2017

Walk into 2017 like this guy…like you know something that others don’t.

It’s a new year and it’s time to think about how we can make 2017 our best year yet.  I made a list of my favorite things that I’ve came across this year that I think will help you in your quest to be the best version of you.

Anytime I can get an edge to improve how I feel, enhance my knowledge, or simply enjoy life at a deeper level, I’m always down.  I hope this list will do that for you.  So here it is…

My Top 10 Must Haves for 2017:

#1.  Off the Chain Pant, from Lululemon

I love these pants for so many reasons.  From 2014-2016, it was all about the ABC pant from Lulu.  ABC stands for Anti-Ball Crushing.  Love these pants.  I just might have all the colors. They have 4-way stretch, are comfy, and fit me real nice.  Having a butt and quads, its tough finding a slimmer fitting pant that is still comfortable.  With that said, 2017 is all about the Off the Chain Pant.  This is a new and improved version of the ABC.  It has a little leaner and tighter cut, but still has room in all the right places.  I can dress these up or dress them down.  I’m obsessed!!!  Oh, and as I write this they are on sale right now at Bellevue Square as well as online (last I checked they were on sale for $68!…a steal!).

Forgive me and my selfie…I’m doing it to help you!  Love my Off the Chains & Neff beanie…see below for my #2

Here are a few reasons why you need these babies

#2.  Neff Beanie

Being that it is winter in the northwest, and 70 + degree weather is nowhere in sight, I love keeping my noggin warm with my fav beanie from Neff (see photo above).  Sometimes wearing a ball cap does not do the job.  Why I like it: it has the perfect mix of the right length (some beanies are either too long or too short…the Neff is spot on) and also it is the perfect material.  It’s not itchy, but really comfortable and it has the perfect amount of stretch.  Finally it’s not too warm, but does the job.  I hate walking outside where it is cold and warrants a beanie, then when I get inside I have to take my beanie off because I am too hot and my hair looks all messed up (so I’m vain..sue me).  This game changer keeps me warm when outside and not too hot inside…I can rock it with comfort inside and out. 

#3.  H & M Collared Shirts

If you are looking for an affordable dress shirt in a variety of styles and colors, H & M has got what you are looking for.  You might like to go to Nordy’s and drop $100 plus on a dress shirt, but I like to get more bang for my buck.  These shirts have a more athletic European cut, which I like, and I’ve had several for multiple years, so the quality does the job.  If you are looking for 4-way stretch, my honorable mention goes to Mizzen and Main (check them out)…shout out to my boy Mike Ike. 

NBD, just me taking a family pick with one of my H&M buttoned collard shirts

#4.  Zara Blazers

Every grown man needs to own a black suit and a multi-use blazer.  The reason why I like Zara’s blazers is the way they are cut (slim) and because most of them have a comfortable stretchy material (are you seeing a trend here?).  The other reason why I like them is because they offer a high quality jacket for a reasonable price.  Pair your new blazer with a clean t-shirt for a more relaxed look.  Check them out…Zara is now in Bellevue Square as well as downtown Seattle (they have legit kids and women clothes as well).

#5.  Nike 3/4 Zip

These Nike 3/4 Zip tops are my go to whether I’m going to the gym, or going to a meeting.  They are so comfy, look great, and can be used in multiple settings.  Rock them to get your workout on, or when you go business casual with a polo underneath.  Stick with black and gray, and add a pop of color with your polo.  You just simply can’t lose with this wardrobe staple.

These are a little too tight for my taste, but you get the point.

#6.  Cole Haan GrandePro Tennis Sneaker

This single pair of Cole Haan’s will transform your look overnight.  I am really into rocking a more sporty shoe with my blazer or even suit.  The rules have changed.  Maybe its the athlete in me, or the look that says, “I mean business, but know how to have fun too,” this is the look for 2017.  There is not a lighter or more comfortable shoe out there — and they come in many colors.  Whether you travel, are on your feet most of the day, chill at a desk, or want to stay current or ahead of the curve…add this shoe to your repertoire and you will be closing dates and deals all in the same day.  Check out Charles Woodsen on ESPN or Kenny Smith on TNT for inspiration. 

What can I say…I’m a shoe guy

#7.  32 Degrees Heat Performance Mesh

I love to feel warm.  With the colder weather and the fact that I travel to eastern WA, Alaska, and Montana, I need an extra layer.  My go-to is 32 Degree Heat shirts and long-underwear from Costco.  The shirts come in short sleeve or long sleeve.  I opt for the long sleeve.  They are very comfortable and you can’t beat the price (wait for it…they run about $8 a piece…seriously?!).  You can even wear the long sleeve top  under your blazer.  I like the cut of the neck…it’s in between a V-neck and basic crew.

#8.  Nike Joggers

If you are like some people I know, you are rocking pants like its 1999 (RIP Prince)…or like you are the 6th member of N*SYNC.  Gangster rap, grunge, and boy bands were cool many years ago — so were baggy pants.  It’s time to step up your casual game with a pair of Nike jogger pants.  Whether you go for cotton Dri-Fit or more of a polyester feel, your gear game on Saturday and Sunday will be turning heads…for the right reasons.  Pair your slimmer looking bottoms with a flashy color of Nike running shoes and please don’t be that guy that rocks Adidas, Nike, and Under Armor all in the same outfit…pick one brand and stick to it.

You can never go wrong with black…NEVER.

#9.  Jordan Brand Long Tights

About a year ago, I found myself stuck in a tough place at the gym.  I was too hot in pants and too cold wearing shorts…my legs didn’t know what to do.  Thus, I made a strategic change that has taken my look, comfort, and swag to the next level…I’ve been rocking long tights under my shorts.  I used to wear spandex under my football pants for years, but it took me a while to adopt this approach to the gym.  I’ve tried many different brands, but I love the cut and style of any Jordan spandex…for some reason there is more room for the boys downstairs than Nike long tights.  Give this approach a try…you’ll thank me later.

Long tights under shorts are the perfect blend for the perfect workout.

#10.  Wireless Headphones

Have long tights transformed my workout game?…yes.  But, nothing has taken my workout experience to the next level quite like my Beats by Dre wireless headphones.  Do you ever listen to music with your phone in your pocket and your cord gets in the way?…Or when you are attacking dumbbell bench and your phone constantly falls out of your pocket?  Take this frustrating practice away by investing in headphones without a cord (the new iPhone doesn’t even have a jack, so this is where the future is going people).  I love listening to podcasts or YouTube videos of inspiring people and stories while lifting and doing cardio…this is made possible by sticking my phone hidden in the corner while I move around without a care in the world.  If Beats head phones break your budget, there are a ton of other brands that are more affordable.  Start working out like it’s 2017, not like you did in 1997 with a disc-man and head phones with a cord.

Here’s a list of top brands.

Be a beast like LBJ…get rid of the ball and chain of traditional headphone chords.

Look good, feel good, play good.  This progression can be applied at work and other areas of your life as well.  Try some of my favorites and let me know what you think.  Hit me up with your must haves for 2017 and lets make this year the the year we truly take our look, production, and joy to the next level.

PROJECT RISE SPOTLIGHT: P.J. FLECK

Have you heard of the name PJ Fleck?  If you haven’t you need to.  Let me introduce you to an individual that has captivated the sports world, including myself with his energy, unconventional leadership style, and passion for people.

Fleck is the head coach at Western Michigan, who is undefeated and preparing to play Wisconsin in the Cotton Bowl.  Fleck, who was a standout receiver at Northern Illinois, signed a free agent deal with the 49er’s, and played in the league for a few years before an injury cut his career short.  He then got into coaching and was mentored by Ohio State’s Jim Tressel and Rutger’s Greg Schiano.  Coach Schiano took Fleck with him to coach wide receivers with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers before Fleck, in 2013, made the move to lead Western Michigan to places never seen in the school’s history.

Coach Fleck looking sharp!  He even rocks the tie on gamedays on the field.

I equate Fleck’s coaching style to be the way Tony Robbins would coach a football program.  He loves his players, teaches them more about life than X’s and O’s, and not only is inspiring the Western Michigan athletic program, but the whole Kalamazoo community.  His pregame speeches are legendary.  His recruiting classes are unbelievable, considering being in a non Power 5 conference.

His slogan “Row the Boat” has taken on a life of its own across the country.  All of this coming from a man who just turned 36 a few weeks ago.

What I’ve learned by studying Coach Fleck:

• He has a clear vision and extreme passion
• He understands his values, models them, and expects his players to follow
• He values relationships beyond everything else
• He looks for kids who have dealt with adversity
• He stresses to his program to focus on the process not the prize
• He has failed…his first season they only won one game
• He’s a real person…he is divorced, remarried and even had to go through the tragedy of losing a child.
• He is not afraid to be himself and lead unconventionally in a sport full of “tough guys”

That list above is why the Broncos are undefeated and he is in the middle of a contract extension and pay increase.  Take a look for yourself and re-evaluate how you are leading others.  Maybe it’s time you “Row the Boat.”

Below is a great article that Fleck wrote recently for the Player’s Tribune.  I also added an awesome piece done by ESPN, when College Gameday paid a visit to Kalamazoo this year, as well as a sit down interview where he explains the Row the Boat mantra.  Enjoy!

Fleck’s article in the Player’s Tribune

POWERFUL PARADOX

When I looked up the word “paradox” I found several definitions.  This is the one I liked the best:

par-a-dox
noun

A seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well founded and true.

When I speak to student-athletes, I tell them that they are in a state of paradox in their life…they are young, thus they have many many years left to live.  However, their athletic careers are near the end…maybe 3 more seasons, 2 more months, or maybe even 1 more game and it’s all over.  See the paradox there?…Two opposite forces colliding together at one point in time.  I stress the importance of SEIZING THE MOMENT, to not waste a single day or even a single play!  The pain of regret hurts more than the pain of effort and hard work.

But that is not the point of this message.  I do believe that life is short and we need to take action and give it all we got, but that was never MY problem.  I’ve never had an effort problem.  I was always the first to show up and the last to leave.  One time my junior year playing football at WSU, Coach Mike Price told me to quit running extra routes after practice because I was looking slower at practice and film.  The reason I was taking extra reps was because I wasn’t getting the rock…my catches were down from the previous 2 seasons and working extra hard was my only way to cope with the frustration and disappointment of my lack of production…unfortunately it was wearing my body down and my effort was counterproductive.

So if effort wasn’t my problem…then was is attitude?  No, definitely not attitude.  I’ve always been an up beat positive guy, full of energy and enthusiasm.  I was usually a leader and a team captain in any sport I played.  So what was my problem?  Here it is:

I cared too much of what people thought of me.

I’ve always been a pleaser by nature and cared about my image, which up until this point of my life it has come to my detriment.  I was confident in many settings, but was really insecure about always having a perfect image, not upsetting anyone, not showing my flaws, basically I was a robot – programmed to win and look good while doing it.

This approach brought results, but at what cost?  I was always really good, but not the best…largely because my mind was filled with judging thoughts of my every move.  I’d be envisioning what people in the crowd were thinking, my parents, my peers, my teammates, my coaches, my manager, co-workers, basically EVERYONE!  I always had achievement, but the psychological warfare I put on myself always took its toll.

If I had a presentation for work and did a great job, but messed up on one spot, I’d obsess over that one hiccup and ponder, “They had to have seen me screw up there.  They probably think I’m not as talented as they may have once thought.”  I think back now at how absurd that thinking was, but that was my reality.  I’d even avoid many situations in sports and professionally because I was afraid of failure and the feelings and embarrassment of that let down.  I was the definition of a “fixed mindset”…avoiding failure and needing constant validation.

I’ve come a long way since then.  Through several years of studying successful people…reading about them, their strategies, their stories; listening to podcasts, audio books, and videos on YouTube; and applying many of these approaches and reflecting on my life.  I think I’m on to something and I’d like to share it with you.  This powerful paradox that if understood, utilized, and practiced, will change your life, the way it has changed mine (I’m still a work in progress by the way…striving to have a “growth mindset”).  If you can master and trust this phrase, I see big things in your horizon:

CARE / DON’T CARE

What if you combined the swag and not giving a sh%# of Kanye with the caring and compassion of Mother Teresa (celebrity name T. Yeezy)?  OMG, you might have enough power and force to destroy planets like the Death Star.

STEP #1, CARE
Here’s the thing, you NEED TO CARE about yourself, your craft, your effort/attitude, and final product – check (where’s that check emoticon when you need it?).  YOU NEED TO CARE about the people around you, your team, organization, the amount of time you put in your preparation – check.  YOU NEED TO CARE and have passion in whatever it is you do and take pride in your preparation, habits, and discipline – check.  CARE, love, be generous, and serve others.  Yes, this I know is true.  All of that is step # 1, YOU NEED TO CARE.  You CARE by having an INTERNAL INVESTMENT with EXTERNAL EXECUTION.  However, you MUST and I mean MUST, have step #2.

STEP #2, DON’T CARE
In order to go places where no man’s gone before, you basically can’t give a flying F&%# about what others think about you…its that simple.  You should care about what your friends and family think about your core values, integrity, and character, but any and all things other than that…SCREW ‘EM!

I’ve been taking a deep dive into sales trainer extraordinaire, Grant Cardone, who has written multiple NY Times best selling books, including the 10x Rule and most recently, Be Obsessed or Be Average.  Cardone shares his 4 Steps to Success of what you must get and need in the 10x Rule:

1. Attention
2. Criticism
3. Haters
4. Admiration

I was always all in on number 1 and 4, but 2 and 3?  I was too soft and sensitive.  But, now I’m working on my blinders…staying laser focus on just doing me…not worrying for one second what others think.  Listen, HATERS ARE GOOD!  It means you are either doing something different or unique, or you are CRUSHING IT…these people are trying to pull you down because of their lack of accomplishment.  They want to bring you down to their level!  Forget about it!  CRITICISM is also good, it means you have an audience and people are watching.  Unfortunately, social media apps like Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, provide people a forum to showcase their HaterAid.  Do what Jay-Z preaches and “Go ahead brush your shoulders off!”

Often times, its the people who are hurting that say hurtful things…don’t pay them no mind.

Come on, Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift have the most adoring fans in the world…they both are also ridiculously rich.  But guess what else they have…a legion of HATERS and criticizers.  The Biebs has the most unliked video in the history of YouTube for his jam “Baby.”  Multimillionaire Mr. Cardone shared his 4 Steps to Success.  They are good, yes, but here are mine 5 Keys to help you get off of CARE about EVERYTHING train, and get on the CARE/DON’T CARE Express to being the best version of you…

5 Keys to Care // Don’t Care:

1. Have the courage to JUST BE YOU!  Remember, everyone else is taken.

2. Know your CORE VALUES…write them down, live them daily, and do not comprise them for anybody.

3. DO WHAT YOU LOVE!  If you are doing what you are passionate about, really what else matters?

4. Know that OPINIONS ARE NOT FACTS…they’re just someone’s opinion!

5. Understand that YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYONE…if you try to please everyone else, you will please no one…including yourself!

Please take my advice to CARE/DON’T CARE.  That approach works 99% of the time when attracting a date (why do they like you more when you seem not interested?).  Try it in life and watch this paradox bring you passion, performance, and prosperity (I love alliteration!).

No one boos the backup.  Thanks Mike Ike for the share.

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR EMOTION

Have you ever had to make a big decision and were stressing on what to do?  Have you felt stuck in a rut, down, or depressed…just searching desperately for a breakthrough? (Damn it…you’ve binged through all the current episodes of Game of Thrones!)  Have you found yourself searching for clarity, the next step in your life, or just looking for purpose?

Need a lift? Try this.

Let me share a strategy that is tested through scientific research and has been backed by many successful people as well as sought after life coaches.  I can speak from my own experience, this approach has drawn me to laughter, deep thought, and often times tears (all at the same time), because I’ve been so profoundly moved by a kinetic force that I cannot explain.  This strategy is so simple, everyone has already done it – in some form or fashion – but I’m going to teach you how to be intentional and use it as a weapon to provide the clarity and purpose you’ve been searching for.  If done consistently, it will be a daily habit that will be a game changer for you.  It’s this simple:
 

Combine MOTION with MUSIC and you will create a state that attracts omens, ideas, and feelings that drive you to take ACTION to become the best version of you!  

  
Studies of bodily movement and health show that exercise is good and that sitting is bad.  Research also shows that the brain can take cues from body movements to understand and solve complex problems.  There is a magical SYNERGY that is created when you align your mind, body, and spirit.  In my opinion, the best way to blend all three is when you are moving to music alone away from the clutter and noise from the outside world.  This approach will awaken a homing beacon for ideas, peace, and a clarity inside of you like nothing else!  I’ll explain why the two are uniquely important and how each are needed for maximum effect.

MOTION
If you want to change your emotion, you need MOTION.  You need to MOVE!  If you want satisfaction, you need to take ACTION.  You can’t spell improvement without MOVEMENT!  Think about times in your life where you took massive action…this focus and drive was generated by being in a specific state or mindset.  Some external force whether it was failure, embarrassment, fear, a personal challenge, or maybe encouragement from a parent or coach caused you to go to that place.  You can use this knowledge to get yourself into this state or in the “zone” simply by getting physical with your body…go on a walk, run, lift weights, do push-ups, sit-ups, stretch, do yoga…just something with movement.

Exercise has both a physiological and developmental impact on the brain. Studies show that movement and exercise supports concentration, memory, and a positive outlook.  From an article in Psychology Today, psychology professor from the University of Illinois Alejandro Lleras says, “The way you think is affected by your body and, in fact, we can use our bodies to help us think.”

Moving your body also alters your breathing.  Focusing on your breathing can have significant impact on your well-being and stress levels, and even physiological changes like lowering your blood pressure.  According to an article in Forbes, by David DiSalvo, he says that “Controlled breathing sparks brain growth in areas associated with attention and processing of sensory input.”  Let’s remember this before you need to make a big decision, need fresh ideas for your presentation, or are trying to solve a complex problem with a loved one…movement and altering your breathing will hep get you there!

Shameless gym selfie…btw, don’t forget to lift legs!!!

MUSIC
Music is one of the top drivers linked with emotion and feeling.  Think about commercials and movies…every key scene or part is matched with a type of music to evoke drama, excitement, or action.  Music is also linked to memory.  Certain songs or music trigger thoughts, experiences, and people associated with pain or pleasure you felt during the general time period of that song.

Music has been found to be a natural antidepressant that can give a euphoric high similar to some medications.  Music is also a great mood shifter, as well as helps improve judgment by affecting the prefrontal cortex, which manages emotions and impulses.

Music can make you happy (try Pharrell William’s “Happy”), pump you up (Journey’s “Eye of the Tiger,” from the Rocky films), or relax you (check out my Smooth Jams mix on Spotify).  There is just something about playing your jam that just sets the stage to feel gratitude, joy, energy, and optimism.

I  LOVE LeBron AND my Beats wireless head phones – they’ve transformed my workout experience.

MOVE. BREATH. THINK. DOMINATE. REPEAT.
Preferably to kick ass music.

The inspiration for most of my ideas that I write about and speak to audiences come from my time alone exercising to music.  I live near a big hill that is 2 miles round trip…I love to get up early or later at night when the kids are in bed and go on a walk/run with my head phones.  I relish this alone time to pray, give thanks to God, and be open to receive infinite wisdom, peace, and clarity.  I use this time to reflect on my goals, and visualize that I already have them.  This activity creates momentum that is hard to explain unless you do it for yourself!    

Here are my 4 key steps to help you change your EMOTION through MOTION and MUSIC:

1. Pick a time in the day to make MOVEMENT a consistent priority – preferably in the morning.  It could be as little as 15 minutes.  Just do something!
2. Movement doesn’t have to be complex – find a strategy that works for you and that you enjoy (dancing, pilates, hot yoga, etc.).  I used to belong to a gym just 9 minutes away…I switched a year ago to Tahoma Fitness, which is across the street from my house, which has made all the difference.  If it’s not convenient you won’t do it.  If you don’t belong to a gym, you can always go on a walk or run outside.
3. Pick music that creates feeling and emotion for you – whether you use Pandora, iHeart Radio, Spotify, Apple Music, or iTunes, create a playlist or pick an artist that you LOVE and that gets you going!  Be intentional and strategic with what you listen to…the goal is to inspire, motivate, and move you! 
4. Take time to reflect and visualize – this is where the magic happens.  Step 1: Give thanks.  Step 2: Visualize your goals as if you already have them.  Step 3: Feel the power, confidence, and clarity this act creates.  Just this morning by moving and listening to powerful music (today was Coldplay), I was stirred by gratitude and excitement for what’s to come, which lead me to laughter and tears of joy.

Former N.C. State Head Basketball Coach and ESPN analyst Jimmy Valvano once said, “If you can laugh, think, and cry in a day…that’s a heck of a day!”  Nothing will help you do this more than combing the powerful combination of movement and music.

Motion with Music will help you get to Jimmy V’s big 3: laugh, think, and cry

There is a reason why church’s all around the world utilize music and worship at the beginning of each service.  The act of getting out of your seat, lifting your hands, and singing God’s praises primes you to receive the message and get’s you in the correct state…full of feeling and emotion.  Why not try that technique in your life as well to help tackle problems, seek answers, and get your mind right to handle the challenges of life?  

Enjoy this song from Coldplay that got me GOING this morning!  Thank you for reading…now go attack the day and feel ALIVE through motion and music!

STORIES

“Be careful about what you think. Your thoughts run your life.” – Proverbs 4:23

Story telling is one of the strongest forms of communication to evoke feeling, emotion, and memories. The best story tellers are usually the best salespeople, tell the funniest jokes, and are able to lead and influence others with the most effectiveness. Did you know that we are telling ourselves a story and narrative about our own self all the time? We have 35,000 automatic thoughts per day. This internal dialogue can be used to conquer any obstacle or make us slaves to self degrading and limiting beliefs.

Let me share a personal example of how your internal story could hurt or help you. For several years, Kendra and I would serve at our church’s young adult ministry called UGYP. The lead pastors were our dear friends Chad and Julia Veach. Chad is one of the best communicators and speakers I have ever seen. He now speaks all around the world, has a top selling book called Unreasonable Hope, and he and Julia have a flourishing church in Los Angeles called Zoe LA.

During that time I had a deep fear of public speaking. I’d sit there every Thursday night and tell myself, “I could never do that…I”m not that funny…what would they think of me?..I just don’t have that kind of talent.” One week, Chad asked me to give the tithes and offering message, but I turned him down. My fear of failure and self identity as being a horrible public speaker kept me from serving and growing in my faith and helping others (I was telling myself the story that I couldn’t do it). This is just no way to live.

The man, the myth, the legend, Chad Veach.

A few months had passed and I finally said, “ENOUGH!” I changed my internal narrative and challenged myself to get up on stage and speak. I asked Chad for another opportunity and I got the chance to present in front of the young adult audience. I practiced a 3-4 minute message for maybe 3-4 hours. I did awesome, and that was one of the steps that has lead me to this place…it all starts in the mind!!! I felt more emotion and joy after slaying that dragon, then hitting the game winning hit in the 9th inning at Texas A&M!  If I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT!

“The word became flesh and made his home among us.” – John 1:14

This verse speaks to me. I’d like to focus on the first four words: THE WORD BECAME FLESH. This is how I interpret that statement…I break it down in two ways. The first is this: God is the word and the word walked the earth and died for our sins in the form of a man, God’s son, Jesus Christ. Here’s my other interpretation: In the 39 books found in the Old Testament, the word “savior” or “messiah” is mentioned over 100 times. Basically, the prophets, and God’s chosen people were forecasting that the savior was coming. They were expectant and by faith believed that the messiah was returning to reign on earth.  Guess what happened, that narrative came true. These believers had certainty and a story that was told and told again…thus they believed and expected it to come true…and it did.  The “word” (our internal dialogue) “becomes flesh” (these words become our reality). 

Is your internal dialogue like Eeyore’s or Tigger’s

Sometimes, life is all about asking the right questions. Here is my question to you: What story or narrative have you been telling yourself? As I mentioned earlier, Proverbs 4:23 tells us, “Be careful about what you think. Your thoughts run your life.” If you are not where you want to be in life, or if you’re in “no man’s land” – not happy or sad, just simply living with a pulse, but without passion – it’s time to create a new narrative. If you are not reaching your God given potential or are playing reruns of past failures, holding onto guilt, or mistakes, it’s time to rewrite your script.

Our world is created by the story we tell ourselves.  

“I’m too old or too young, not talented enough, lack intelligence, don’t belong, it’s too hard, it’s too scary, or they might reject me.” Sound familiar? Language is powerful and the most powerful communication is our own self talk. Your thoughts create and manifest whatever you focuses on. Break your old patterns of putting yourself down or saying you don’t have what it takes. When you do that, you are living in a broken internal word that becomes physical. ENOUGH! Change your story, change your life! Take a moment and say an affirming statement out loud 5 times…for example: “I got this, I got this, I got this, I got this, I GOT THIS!”

Make this a daily habit. Give yourself words of affirmation to set the stage for having a positive attitude to attack the day. You might be surprised how much better, less anxious, and more excited you’ll be to tackle the challenges that life throws at you. This is the first step to write a new story, a new narrative for you. Make this a daily ritual and build off of it. 

Take control of that internal dialogue inside your head. The only thing that can stop you from being fulfilled is you! God is the creator, but you are the author of your life. Start your new story now…one full of abundance, growth, and positive internal dialogue that creates a world filled with significance and fulfillment.

Check out Chad’s book Unreasonable Hope – it might be the catalyst to give you hope and change your story.

ALL IN

Being that it is fall and the days are getting colder and shorter, I sometimes remenisc of our times this summer at our good friend Jeff’s pool.  Well, technically it’s not his pool, its the apartment complex’s pool that he lives in.  Kendra created a backstory if we ever got asked why we frequently drive the ‘ol minivan through the gated community and unload our kids like ants coming out of an ant pile…she planned on saying she was the nanny.  I mean, she looks young enough…3 kids at 26 years old – I’d believe it.  A lot has changed since we met when she was 18 and I was 27.  Marry them young…”you can train ’em,” is what I always say!  Actually she is smarter than me…without question.

Can’t beat pool time – especially when its 90!

There at the pool we saw Baylor and Bellamy really explore their confidence swimming.  Baylor just turning 4, was much quicker to get acclimated in the water then Bellamy, who this summer was 2 and half.  However, after seeing her brother swim by himself with his life jacket, I think the benefit of being the youngest showed itself.  Whatever Baylor does, Bellamy wants to do.  Bellamy quickly was brave enough to swim by herself without having Kendra or me holding her…you go girl!

#squad

The pool is coooold, which created an environment to showcase how their personalities are different. Baylor, being the oldest, is more cautious and analytical.  Bella, being the younger sister, is definitely more of a free spirit and willing to take risks…”Whatever Baba can do, I can do!”  We love that she still calls him that…dear God, please let Bellamy stay a little girl forever.  I don’t own a gun and the thought of her at 16 drives me to explore my 2nd Amendment rights…and to drink…Fireball anyone?!

So here is the contrast: Baylor being more calculating, has to feel his way into the pool by putting his toe or foot in first.  Sometimes the cold psyches him out of wanting to jump in.  Not Miss Bella.  Once I get in she doesn’t have to feel the water first, she just JUMPS IN without a worry or a fear of the cold water.  At the pool, Bellamy is ALL IN and doesn’t let the environment dictate her decision…she just goes for it.  This is a trait that I just love about her and actually is inspiring.  You gotta love it when you can learn from your kids.

Winnie is not quite big enough to swim like her brother and sister…next year.

This pool example leads me to this question…How are you living your life?  Are you able to make decisions and go ALL IN or are you doing things with one foot in and one foot out?  Sometimes we just have to JUMP!  Are you waiting for the perfect timing to make a move like asking that one person you like out on a date?  Going for that job you’ve always dreamt about?  Finally getting the degree you always wanted?  Fixing a broken relationship?  Deciding to go after your passion project?  If you are waiting for your ducks to be in a row, I’m afraid you might be waiting your entire life.

When opportunities arise, we sometimes have self-limiting thoughts that sabotage action…I’m not ready; I’m not good enough, I’ll do it next time; I’m not worthy; it will be too hard.  Or the worst…I’ll just try, and If I don’t like it, I’ll quit.  If this is you, STOP DOING THAT!  Timing in life is NEVER PERFECT.  Things don’t always work out exactly the way you envisioned right out the gate.

We have an unspeakable power each day…the power to chose.  If you rely on feelings and feelings alone, you will be frozen, timid, and most likely avoid action.  Feelings lie.  Feelings don’t tell the whole story.  Ask yourself, what is it that you want and go for it!  Get yourself into the correct state and frame of mind to COMMIT and then ACT.  The key is to commit first, because trust me, you’ll get knocked down and fail, but you got to keep going.  Give it all you got, and trust that it will work out in the end.

It’s been said that if you have a plan B, you are planning to fail.  There is only one way to enter a pool or face a new opportunity – and that is to go ALL IN with full commitment and faith.

If you want to conquer the island, you got to burn the boats!  There’s no going back!

Remember Yoda from Star Wars?  He shared some great wisdom on this topic, “Do or do not.  There is no try.”  Learn from Yoda and my kids at the pool…go ALL IN and you’ll see a shift in your fulfillment and most importantly, your personal growth…growth in your abilities, satisfaction, and living this precious thing called life to the fullest.

ROOTS

I recently read a fantastic book for leaders, coaches, and parents that explores cultivating winning habits, not just outcomes.  It’s called Win in the Locker Room First: The 7 C’s to Build a Winning Team in Business, Sports, and Life, by best selling author Jon Gordon and former Atlanta Falcons Head Coach, Mike Smith.  Gordon penned the best seller Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life (which is next on my list) and Smith, who had the second best record in the NFL his first 5 seasons, behind the Patriots legendary coach Bill Belichick.  However after 2 sub-par seasons, the Falcons decided to let him go.  Upon his release, Mike Smith reached out to Gordon to collaborate on what he learned during this humbling experience.  This combination created a must read.

During his tenure in Atlanta, Smith asked Gordon to help him and his players develop strategies to improve their performance by creating what they called the Process.  A Process is mental and physically disciplines done daily…basically, your habits.  If everyone in the organization buys into their process – starting from the top and executed by everyone in the program, then big things will come.

FOCUS ON THE PROCESS, NOT THE PRESSURE OR OUTCOMES.

There were a TON of pearls I gathered from this book, but the one that jumped off the page and stuck to me was this phrase: FOCUS ON THE ROOT, NOT THE FRUIT.

Coach Smith, left. Jon Gordon, right.

Let me give this statement some context.  As I mentioned earlier, Coach Smith had tremendous success during his first 5 seasons at the helm of the Atlanta Falcons, including division championships, playoff wins, and consistency never seen before in Atlanta.  This success reached its peak in the NFC Championship Game in 2012, where they were one play away from going to the Super Bowl.  The loss hurt, it hurt bad.

After coming up just short of going to their second Super Bowl in franchise history, the entire organization, players and coaches felt like the next season would be a failure if they didn’t reach the Super Bowl.  But Smith explains, that was where the problems started.  The next season fostered only 7 wins, then 4 wins the following season, which ultimately lead to his firing.  Smith said, we got away from what made us great – focusing on our process and doing the little things every day.  We only focused on one outcome – the Super Bowl – anything less felt like a failure.  This shift of obsessing on being perfect and not focusing on our winning habits, was and is a recipe for disaster.

I believe sports are a microcosm of life – leadership, teamwork, competition, communication, culture, and adversity.  All of these examples have similarities and can crossover to families, businesses, teams, and organizations.  In life and in athletics, many people get seduced by the fruit – the outcomes or results.  This blurred vision is what got Adam and Eve in trouble in the Garden of Eden.

“So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.”  -Genesis 3:6

Where the term “baby mamma drama” was created

We know what happened next…heaven on earth was no more.  Instead of focusing on what God had commanded them to do, Adam and Eve chose to eat from the forbidden fruit and the outcome was catastrophic.

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As a sales trainer, I have the pleasure to train and work with new hires and also follow up with them after they have spent time managing their own territories.  The last two reps I visited had concerns that their results where not matching their effort.  Thus, I flew in and worked with them in their geographies for two days.  Though both situations had their differences, both representatives I felt, where focusing too much on the fruit: daily, weekly, and monthly sales numbers.  Instead of the root: winning habits, actions, fundamentals, and sales strategies executed daily.

What are you focusing on?

Before I left, we spent time discussing the power of creating your “Process,” executing your process, and most importantly…trusting your process.  I emphasized to stop evaluating yourself only on results (daily statistics)…you’ll drive yourself crazy!  I stressed to judge yourself on two things: your growth and effort.  We cannot control events; we cannot control outcomes; we CAN control how we prepare, react, and our effort (mental and physical).

We created a “play sheet” on what actions they would take in specific type of accounts, as well as a list of daily actions (several different techniques specific to our products and marketplace) they would execute each day.  In the end, if they focused on the root – those daily disciplines, and not just numbers – I stressed, the results will come.

I was so excited when one of these reps called me two weeks later at 7:00 o’clock at night to report that he just closed a HUGE account.  He said that he simply applied his process, focused on the strategies we discussed, and didn’t worry about the outcome or the pressure.  He said he was in the ZONE, because he had practiced those habits for two weeks, leading up to that call.  I was more proud of that result, then anything I could have accomplished in my territory.

Training Deanna, awesome new hire from New Orleans  

How can you apply this approach in your life?..To focus on the root, not the fruit.  What mindset do you currently have? If you want to lose weight, stop weighing yourself everyday!  Instead, create your process and habits you will do daily to achieve your goal.  You want to improve your marriage?…what daily actions must you do to make this relationship rewarding and fulfilling for the both of you?  You want to improve your performance at work?  Have a mentor or manager help you create your PROCESS – daily mental and physical disciplines.  Do these actions each day, trust them, and have the PATIENCE to see them through.  Do this and watch your satisfaction and results TAKE OFF!

You can do it!  Just a minor shift in your mindset is all it takes.  Commit to it and go for it!  The grass and the root is greener and healthier where you water it…not on the other side…looking at outcomes alone!  Nurture, protect, and feed your roots – daily actions and habits.  If you do that, I see a bountiful future on your horizon.